


Hear the Falconer

by stardustgirl



Series: {vexed to nightmare} [3]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: (well kind of), Accidents, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amputation, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Annoying C1-10P | Chopper, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Arguing, Attempted Kidnapping, Awkward Dates, Betrayal, Blood, Blood and Injury, Break Up, Car Accidents, Car Chases, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Chopper Gets Force Yeeted, Chopper Ships It, Chopper the Murderbot, Confessions, Depression, Developing Relationship, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Espionage, Explosions, Explosives, F/M, Fainting, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Fluff, Fictional Religion & Theology, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Flying, Flying Lessons, Friends to Lovers, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy Angst, Human Trafficking, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury, Inspirational Speeches, Kanan Needs A Job, Kidnapping, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Major Character Injury, Mild Blood, Movie Night, Napping, Nightmares, Oblivious, Oblivious Kanan Jarrus, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Plans For The Future, Post-Blind Betrayal, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Blind Betrayal, Questioning Beliefs, Rated For Violence, Rebellion, Religious Discussion, Self-Blame, Self-Reflection, Separation Anxiety, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, Slave Trade, Slavery, Slow Burn, Smuggling, Social Anxiety, Space Siblings Ezra Bridger & Garazeb Orrelios, Stargazing, Surprise Kissing, Tagging as I go, The Force, The Force Ships It, but still, on accident, past angst, piloting, well kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-11-12 14:02:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 33,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18012302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl
Summary: Turning and turning in the widening gyreThe falcon cannot hear the falconer;Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world....--"The Second Coming" by W.B. Yeats|~~~|Ever since his disastrous attempt to leave Ryloth with Hera nearly ten years ago, Kanan has kept himself out of politics. He prides himself on the neutrality he's achieved with his smuggling company and the relationships he’s built with his fellow crew members, two damaged teens and Hera's old droid. But when an encounter with a dangerous foe upsets the delicate balance he has formed with his crew, he is forced to rethink his beliefs—for all their sakes.Or; Kanan, in the past almost ten years since he and Hera have been apart, has somehow adopted two kids and started a smuggling syndicate plus renounced the Force.





	1. Chapter 1

“ _Kanan!  Go go go_ go go go!”

“I’m _going!_ ”

“ _Sabine if you’re gonna complain so much then_ you _can pilot next time!_ ”

“ _I’d be_ perfectly _fine wi—_ “

“ _No one_ is piloting except me next time.  Stop making promises for me Ezra!”

There’s a half second of silence, during which Kanan throws the ship into a corkscrew, narrowly evading a shot from a TIE too close for comfort.  When Ezra’s muttered “ _Sorry,_ ” finally comes through the comm, he makes a mental note to apologize to the boy later.

“ _Kanan, there’s a TIE over here you’re not shaking, and I’m not lined up to shoot—_ “

“Give me a second Sabine; I’ll get you that opening.”  He levels the freighter out before twisting it sharply, pulling it in a wide arc that opens Sabine and her spot on the dorsal turret up to shoot.  “Got you your opening, now use it!” he barks through the comm. Only a moment later, there’s a beep on the console as one of the fighter icons disappears, and he smirks to himself.

“Chop, how we comin’ with those calculations?” he calls.  The astromech whirs unhappily, and he looks away long enough from the windscreen to shoot it a glare.  “No, I don’t care that you haven’t had an oil bath, you can still function without one and you definitely won’t _get_ one if we’re shot down!”  The droid warbles and turns back to the console.

“ _Kanan!_ ”

“I see it!” he responds to Ezra’s sudden, panicked cry.  He jerks at the steering yoke, twisting it to give the aft gun an opening.  Another fighter disappears from the scanners, a soft “ _Yes!_ ” echoing through the comm further confirming the boy’s success.

A sudden chirp has Kanan twisting in the seat to see Chopper, the droid hurrying up to the console and hooking into it.  He returns his attention to the fighters outside, firing the nose gun before pulling the yoke up again. Chopper beeps and Kanan launches the ship into hyperspace, not allowing himself to relax until the stars have already pulled back into white streaks.

He sets the ship on autopilot and stands, running a hand through his hair as he exhales slowly.  Finally he leaves the cockpit, the squeak of Chopper’s wheels the only sign the droid is following him.

He reaches the common room just as Sabine and Ezra do, the older girl immediately taking up her usual spot leaning against the wall as Ezra shuffles to a stop a couple of inches away from her.

“What _was_ all that?” Sabine asks, confusion thick in her voice.

“The Empire,” Kanan answers tonelessly.  Ezra’s eyes drop and Sabine’s harden. He swallows, wishing he could’ve kept it from them, but it’s impossible now.

“Why?”

Another quick glance at Ezra, and he knows the boy likely won’t be speaking until long afterward.  He sighs inwardly.

“They probably got tipped off about our shipments, or maybe it’s the freighter.”

“What about it?”

“It’s modified.  Beyond what’s considered legal.”

Sabine snorts.  “Isn’t _any_ modification considered illegal?”

He tilts his head in acknowledgement.  “Fair point.”

“But we’re still delivering the shipment, right?”

Kanan nods.  “Of course. That was our last jump before we hit Lothal anyway, so we should be clear.”

“May I go to my room?” Ezra interrupts quietly, gaze still fixated on the floor.  Kanan nods.

“Yeah, sure.  You wanna take Chopper too?”

The boy shakes his head, hesitates, and then shrugs.  “Sure.” The astromech follows him as they head to his cabin, Kanan watching until the door slides shut.

“What’s up with him?”

He turns back to Sabine.  “Just memories, I think. He has issues with the Empire.”

“Don’t we all,” she agrees, rolling her eyes.  He ignores the gesture.

“So, the shipments.”

“Yeah?”

“If the Empire’s onto us, then we’ll need to re-evaluate our methods…” he begins slowly, thinking hard.

“Why not just who we’re working with?”

He blinks in surprise, refocusing his gaze on the teenager.  “Sorry?”

“We should just look at who we're working with again, who we’re taking jobs for.  We take every precaution possible on runs, we always check to make sure we’re not being tracked or followed, we never give anyone unnecessary information.  Someone has to be tipping them off about us.”

“Sabine.”

She glances up at him.  “Yeah?”

“It’s happened once.  For all we know it was just a fluke.  Don’t get carried away.”

The girl’s gaze hardens.  “Look, Kanan, I don’t know about you, but I’m not too excited about the prospect of getting rec- killed by the Empire.  And that’s all that’s gonna happen if what just happened out there happens again!” She finishes in a yell, and he can see the barely hidden fear in her eyes.

“Sabine.  Look at me.”  She glares at him, breathing heavily, and he knows better from experience with Ezra than to reach out a hand in an attempt to steady her.

“I know—“  Knows what?  That she’s scared?  If he says that, she’ll just leave.  He swallows and starts again.

“I know that you hate the Empire for what it did to you, and that you’re...worried for Ezra and me.  And I don’t blame you for that, I am too. But until we know that that _wasn’t_ just a coincidence, then you have to calm down.  Okay?”

She glares at him for a moment longer before her gaze softens and she drops it, sighing and crossing her arms more tightly across her chest.  “Fine.”

“Good.”  He smiles slightly, heading back toward the cockpit.

“Where’re you going?” she asks, turning with him.

“To check on Ezra.”

“Oh.”

* * *

He knocks quietly on the door to Ezra’s cabin, asking, “Can I come in?” in a soft tone.  He hears a thump, and seconds later the door slides open.

“Yeah.”

He enters, following Ezra as the boy heads to his bunk and sits on the edge of it, kicking his feet.

“Hey, you okay?”

The boy nods, still not lifting his gaze from the ground, even when Kanan eases onto the bunk a few inches from him.

“I’m sorry.  For earlier, when I- when I yelled.  I shouldn’t have done that.”

Ezra only nods, and Kanan notices that he’s fidgeting with his thumbs again, rubbing the scars on his wrists.  He sighs inwardly.

“I really didn’t mean to, kid.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, sir.”

_Not again._

“Ezra, you know you don’t have to call me that.”

“I know, s- Kanan.”

His voice is toneless, more than normal when he has flashbacks, and it makes him worried.

“You can talk to me, you know that, right?”  The boy nods, still staring at the ground, expressionless.  Kanan sighs, running a hand over his face.

“Do you want me to stay here, or are you gonna be okay if I go?”

He doesn’t miss the slight tremble as the boy answers.  “I- I don’t care.”

“Alright.  I’ll stay then, okay?”

He nods again, still fiddling with his thumbs, and Kanan barely resists sighing once more.  He's always known Ezra’s been hurt, ever since he first saw him, but the kid only told him the details a couple of months before they found Sabine.

Even now, nearly three years after meeting him, Kanan’s still trying to figure out his boundaries.

“That was some nice shooting back there,” he says after a while.

The kid nods.  “Th- thanks.”

“You did good, kid.  Those lessons from Sabine must really be paying off, you’ve improved a lot since she came aboard.”

He nods again.  “Thanks.”

“How’s your ‘saber practice going?  It’s been a while since we got a chance to work on it.”

The boy shrugs, and this time there’s a bit more life in his voice as he responds, “It’s going okay, I guess.”

“We’ll be in hyperspace for a few hours still, you wanna practice with me again?”

He nods.  “If- if you could, yeah.  I’m having some trouble with Form Three.”

“Alright.”  He stands, restraining from patting the boy’s shoulder as he goes to leave.  “Cargo bay at 1800. You game?”

Ezra nods again.  “Yeah.” As Kanan reaches the door, the teenager clears his throat and he glances back.  “Th- thanks. For- for the apology and- and I’m sorry that I...that all this...sorry.”

“Hey, kid.  Ezra finally looks up.  Kanan’s smile softens. “You did good.  That’s all that matters. And you’ll heal.  And it might take a while. I’m still healing, and so is Sabine.  And that’s all right.”

The briefest of smiles flits across the kid’s face as he nods again.  “Thanks.”

“No, Ezra.  Thank _you._ ”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The caged bird sings   
> with a fearful trill  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan does not make a good customer service representative, Sabine has no sense of boundaries whatsoever, and Ezra gets a drink (but not the kind you're thinking of).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slight Burn Injury

“Alright.  Ready?”

Ezra shrugs before nodding warily.  “Sure.”

“Left.”  Kanan slowly moved the humming sword to Ezra’s left, giving the boy plenty of time to block.  “Right.” He easily switched sides, and the other ‘saber came up in reply. “High. Low. Left again.”  Kanan pauses, watching the boy’s focused gaze. “You wanna try a series?”

He nods, hard gaze still on the point where the ‘sabers intersect.  Kanan takes a step back, waits, and then lunges into the movements.

“Left.  Right. High.  Low. Left. Again?”  Ezra nods. This time, when he calls his attacks, he’s faster, leaving barely a space between them.  “Left. Right. High. Low. Le—“

“Kanan, you’ve got a comm!”

At Sabine’s sudden yell from above the cargo bay, he’s taken off guard.  However, Ezra’s already halfway into the block, having anticipated it.

His momentum carries him forward, and he slashes Kanan’s arm.

Everyone freezes.

The boy’s eyes widen almost comically and he backs away, stumbling in his hurry to put distance between himself and Kanan as the man hisses at the sudden pain.  “I’m sor- I’m so sorry- sir it won’t happen again I prom—“

“Ezra,” he calls, raising a hand in a placating gesture to stop the boy.  Ezra immediately freezes and flinches, eyes squeezing shut as his breathing comes in short gasps.  “Ezra,” he repeats, lowering the hand. “Stop. You’re okay. You’re okay.”

“I- I- I just _stabbed_ you with- with my lightsaber, you- _you’re_ not okay and pleaseIpromiseitwon’thappenagain,” he rambles, his words becoming incoherent quickly.  Kanan sighs.

“I’m fine.  Look, it just grazed me.  Okay? You’re not in trouble.  Promise.” He keeps his tone low and unthreatening, unconsciously holding his breath.

“I- I- I—“

“ _Ezra._  Breathe.  You’re okay.  I promise I’m not mad, and you’re not in trouble.  Alright?”

The boy nods jerkily, his gaze still saturated with panic as he glances wildly around the cargo bay.

“Do you want to go to your cabin?”

He nods again.

“Then don’t let me keep you, go ahead.  You know you don’t need to ask…” he trails off as the boy bolts for the ladder, stumbling past Sabine at the top as she barely manages to avoid him slamming into her.

As Kanan sighs, collecting both his and the kid’s fallen lightsabers, Sabine calls down, “Well that went well.”  He shoots her a dry glance as he heads to the ladder, clipping both ‘sabers onto his belt before climbing. “What?  I was just observing.”

“Next time wait until we’re _not_ in the middle of a training exercise, please.”

“Kinda hard when you’ve been at it for forty minutes already and you look like you’re still warming up.”  He groans inwardly at the girl’s sarcasm as she keeps pace with him on his way to the cockpit. “You know, next time if you had him hold it—“

“Who’s the comm from?” he interrupts.

“Someone called Vizago, I dunno.  I answered and he—well it _sounded_ like a he—asked for you.”

“Wait, hold on a second, you _answered_ it?”  He stops, glancing at her in surprise.  She shrugs.

“Yeah?  It’d been pinging for a while, and since you and Ezra were still training, I figured _someone_ had to—and there’s no way Chopper was.  Besides, if you ended up missing it, what if it was a job?”

“Okay, look.”  He begins walking again.  “First of all, don’t answer people’s comms, like we’ve talked about, _especially_ ones that ask for me.”

“Well I didn’t think it _was_ yours; it was on the main channel.”

He sighs, not bothering to hide it this time.  “Alright, just- just go do _something,_ okay?  Make ca– no, actually, don’t make caf; you’re already clearly hyper enough.  Why don’t you make some hot chocolate?”

“For Ezra, too?”

“Yeah.  Add some mallow paste to his if we have any left, he’s had a rough day.”  She nods and turns around to head to the galley but he calls out to her again, stopping her.  “The Vizago guy, you just put him on mute, right?”

“No, he said to comm him back and then ended it,” Sabine says, shrugging.  He groans aloud this time.

“You’re saying he _ended the call_ and you _still_ thought it was necessary to interrupt us?”

She shrugs again.  “He seemed like he was in a hurry for you to get back to him.”

Kanan groans again.  “ _Sabine…._ ”  He turns back around to go to the cockpit, sighing and shaking his head as she goes to the galley.

* * *

“Ghost Transport, what do you need?”

“ _Is this Kanan Jarrus?_ ”  He sits up a bit straighter at the voice, stifling a yawn.

“Yeah.  My associate said you wanted to speak with me?”

“ _Yes, yes.  I am told that you smuggle goods?  Does that include weapons?_ ”

The accent’s Outer Rim, but he can’t place where specifically.  “Yeah, as long as they’re not homemade explosives. We have a policy against those.”

“ _Ah, good, good.  This is not._ ”

“Okay….”

The man clears his throat.  “ _I can give you the pickup details and drop spot later, for right now—_ “

“Whoa whoa whoa, hang on.  We haven’t even accepted the job yet.”

“ _Vizago pays well,_ ” the client answers matter-of-factly, as if that’s all Kanan needs to know about the matter.

“Hold up, Vizago.  You haven’t even gotten a quote yet—“

“ _Price does not matter, Vizago can pay.  I am transmitting details now. I will see you soon._ ”  Abruptly, the comm clicks on, and Kanan’s left staring at the console in open surprise.  Only moments later, it beeps as a message pops up, displaying the details Vizago had mentioned.  He sighs and runs a hand over his face.

Standing, he presses the buttons that will send the job information to his datapad and picks it up on his way out of the cockpit.  He heads to the common room but hesitates outside Ezra’s door. Pulling out his comm, he switches it to Sabine’s channel and quietly asks, “Are you done yet?”

“ _Yeah, just trying to find the mall–_ aha! _Got it!_ ”  He smiles to himself at the girl’s exclamation of triumph and switches it off, setting his datapad on the floor and knocking softly on the door.

“Ezra?  Sabine made some hot chocolate.”  There's silence and he steps back in anticipation.  True to his expectations, the door slides open shortly afterward, a hesitant Ezra staring up at him.

“Can I have some?”

Kanan chuckles, tousling the boy’s hair as he nods.  “Yeah. She’s in the galley.”

He stoops to pick up the datapad before heading to the galley.  The boy lets a small smile slip out as he follows Kanan. Once inside, Kanan grabs his mug and sits at the table while Sabine leans against the counter, sipping hers slowly as she nods to Ezra’s mug.  His smile widens into a grin and he picks it up, closing his eyes and sniffing it before clambering onto the counter and drinking it.

“Don’t burn yourself, kid,” Kanan warns.  It has no effect on him, not that he expected it to.

“Alright kids, I just got another job,” he announces after drinking half the mug.  Sabine lowers hers with an irritated expression.

“I’m not a kid.”

“While you’re on this ship, you are.  Now, the guy just transmitted details about it.  It’s quick, just a pickup and drop off on the same world.”

“What’re we running?” she asks.

“Weapons.  He said they’re within our guidelines, but I still wanna check once we get them.”  She nods, satisfied, and returns to sipping her drink. “And, I’m sorry Ezra, but...it’s on Lothal.”

To anyone else, the way the kid’s grip tightens suddenly on the mug and his leg starts jogging would look like he was trying to make himself stay awake.  But Kanan knows better, has known better for almost three years now. The kid’s attempts to ground himself are obvious to him. He sighs.

This Vizago better be able to pay as high a price as he’ll be charging for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vizago is simultaneously the hardest and the easiest character to write sksksksk
> 
> also !! if you're interested in being a beta reader for this and other projects i'm working on !! check out this link please: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdq6LOqkYmbR7vTCNgPczL0tzGg3hNvFSCGrhf4cZPRdNZ5eA/viewform?usp=pp_url


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The caged bird sings  
> with a fearful trill  
> of things unknown  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan deals with an unruly teenager and a withdrawn one along with a rival, Sabine engages in some less-than-legal activities, and Ezra is antisocial as per usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced Drug Use by Minors (Consensual)

“Hey, Sabine and I are gonna go and meet the client.  Do you wanna come?” Ezra hesitates, and Kanan adds, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.  Chopper’s staying on the ship, too.” The boy hesitates only a moment this time before nodding.

“Yea- yeah, I’ll stay.”  Kanan smiles, squeezing the kid’s shoulder gently as he stands.

“Alright.  I’ll see you when I get back.”  The kid nods again and he leaves his cabin, the door remaining open behind him.

Sabine’s already waiting in the cargo bay when he slides down, disassembling his lightsaber and reclipping it to his belt as he approaches.  The girl’s helmet is on and she taps her foot, jerking her head toward the ramp. “Let’s go.”

“Calm down, kid.  I’m coming.”

“Speaking of, how’s he doing?  Is _he_ coming?”

“Ezra?”

“Yeah.  Yesterday was...weird.”

Kanan shrugs.  “Could be better.”  Sabine makes a noncommittal noise as he presses the ramp control.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why’d he react like that?”

He sighs.  “He’s...he doesn’t like making mistakes.”

“Oh.”  She falls silent as they head into the cargo bay to retrieve the shipment.  As they return to the start of the loading ramp, her next question catches him off guard.  “Next time we’re running spice, can I have some?”

“Wh- what?!”  He stops, glancing at her in bewilderment as she keeps pushing the crate down.  She looks up, helmet hiding her expression, though with the way her head’s cocked he can imagine it easily enough.  “Did you just—“

“Yeah.  I knew a couple kids back at the Academy who did it.  Of course, they got expelled, but—“

“Sabine, first of all, _no one_ on this ship is doing spice.  Second, _especially_ not you.”

“Oh so Ezra can?”  She stops to put a hand on her hip and Kanan narrowly manages to avoid physically facepalming.

“I didn’t say—“

“You only said me!”

“Sabine, we’ll talk about this later.  We have a client to deal with, okay?” She huffs but resumes pushing the crate.  Sighing, he follows suit.

* * *

“We’re landing in five,” Kanan announces over the ship-wide comm.  He doesn’t receive a response, but it’s not like he was expecting one.  He turns to Chopper, raising a brow. “Well? What’re your scanners showing?”

The droid grumbles an answer, rolling away from the console.

“It’s not like I _chose_ the pickup location, Chop.  Just tell me if there’s any Imps around.”  The droid blatts and Kanan sighs. “Great. Of _course_ there’s gotta be some.  Anything else?”

Chopper rolls back to the console and plugs in again, staying silent for a moment before beeping shrilly.  His brow furrows. “You recognize it? Are you sure?” Chopper beeps again, rocking back and forth on his stasis.  He sighs again, running a hand over his face as he fiddles with the comms again. Setting it to Ezra’s cabin, he turns it on.

“Hey, kid, you in?”

There's silence before a quiet voice replies, “ _Yeah._ ”

“You remember Dolsher?”

Ezra snorts.  “ _How could I not?_ ” he says dryly.  Kanan grimaces.

“Chop said he recognized his ship on the scanner.  I know we have documentation and all, but with how it went last time...might be better if you stay on the _Ghost_ till we do the drop off.  If you’re okay with that.”

“ _Yeah, I’d- I’d prefer to stay on._ ”  The kid’s gotten a lot better at hiding his fear over the past few years, but Kanan can still see through the act.

“Alright.  I’ll let Sabine know; you and Chop can handle getaway this time while we grab the item.”

“ _Copy._ ”  The boy sounds tired, and his comm clicks off immediately after the word.

Kanan sends in a request for landing clearance, and upon receiving it, guides the ship down.  He meets Ezra on his way out of the cockpit.

“You good, kid?”  He nods, offering Kanan a strained smile.  He smiles in response. “Sabine and I should be back soon.  Tell Chopper to be ready.” Ezra nods again, and Kanan squeezes his shoulder lightly before heading out.

He meets Sabine in the cargo bay.  The girl is settling her helmet over her short-shorn hair as she turns, nodding in acknowledgement to him.

“Do we know what hangar they’re in yet?”

“Bay Seven,” she responds promptly, hitting the button to open the ramp.  “From what I could tell, it’s the only thing in there, but the system kicked me out pretty quick.”

“That’s...worrying.”

She shrugs as they walk down the ramp.  “Any good system can detect and expel slicers within a couple minutes.  I’d expect nothing less from the Empire.”

He nods, impressed.  When she’d mentioned slicing in her pitch, he had expected being able to check basic public records with simple firewalls in a few hours or days, not slicing into locked Imperial files within seconds.

She leads them through the spaceport without a moment of hesitation except to check the map on her gauntlet.  When they reach the hangar, she steps up to the access panel, typing something in before the screen flashes green and the large doors open.  She walks in, glancing at Kanan as he follows.

“So where’s Ezra?”

“He’s sitting this one out.  Chopper recognized the ship of someone he’s trying to avoid.”

“Oh.”

They remain silent as they move through the hangar, approaching the cluster of crates at the end.  Kanan opens the first one, and Sabine whistles appreciatively as she leans over them.

“What are they?”

“Tee-seven ion disruptor rifles,” she answers in awe.  “I’ve never seen one in person.”

“They’re within our guidelines though, right?”  She nods vigorously.

“Yep.”

“All right.  Go get ready to open the hangar to the outside, I’ll comm Ezra and Chop and tell ‘em we’re ready.”  She nods and jogs off to another access panel, waiting by it as Kanan pulls out his comm.

“Hey, Spectre E?  We’ve got the item.  Need a pickup in Bay Seven.”

“ _Copy that, I’ll- I’ll get C on it._ ”  He clicks his comm off and motions to Sabine.  She returns her attention to the access panel, clicking rapidly across it as he checks that the hover mechanisms on the crates are engaged.  Something faint tickles at the back of his mind and he turns.

Entering the hangar is a Lasat.

“Sabine!” he calls, not checking to see her reaction.  The Lasat raises his weapon, blocking a hastily fired shot from behind Kanan.  “Hold your fire!” he shouts to the girl.

“Kanan, he’s trying to steal _our_ blasters!”

“ _Your_ blasters?” the Lasat replies, continuing to advance slowly.  Kanan draws his own blaster. “Those blasters aren’t anyone’s.  They don’t belong to anyone _decent._ ”

“Then why are you trying to _steal_ them!?”

“Sabine!” Kanan yells again.  “Open that door so they can land!”  There’s a frustrated sigh from behind him, but within moments he hears the doors start to open.

“I’m not ‘stealing’ anything.  I’m destroyin’ those before they get in the wrong hands.”  As Kanan adjusts his grip on his blaster, the Lasat fires.

He twists out of the way, skidding a few feet backwards and bracing his hand on the ground to keep his balance.  He rises, firing a warning shot that hits near the Lasat’s feet. The man grins.

“That’s the best you can do?”

“It was a warning,” Kanan responds, sparing a glance back.  The _Ghost_ has arrived, loading ramp open, but Sabine’s still fixated on the fight.  “Sabine, get Ezra and load the crates! I’ll be there in a minute.” He turns in time to avoid another shot from the Lasat, and this time, he doesn’t reply with a warning.

The Lasat ducks out of the way, teeth now bared as he starts to advance again.  Kanan slowly retreats, and finally hears the kids running to the crates. He kicks one near him in their direction in a weak attempt to help before dodging another shot.

He hears footsteps, and returning his attention to the Lasat, his eyes widen.

A squad of ‘troopers has now entered the hangar, with a tall Imperial with possibly the worst helmet he’s ever seen at their head.

“Kids, hurry it up!” he calls.  The Lasat turns, ears flattening at the sight of the Imperials as he starts to back up as well.  He pulls out a comm, speaking into it hurriedly. Kanan can just barely overhear the conversation.

“Hera, looks like we got a problem.  Gonna need a pickup at Seven.”

He’s too far to hear the response, but just hearing the name—Hera—makes him freeze.

 _She manages to move her face away from her father’s restraining grip long enough to shout, “Go!  Kanan,_ go! _”_

He shakes his head, willing himself back to the present in time to narrowly dodge a bolt from a stormtrooper.  There’s plenty of Heras in the galaxy. No reason that that one’s _her._

He fires another shot before Sabine’s shout makes him turn and sprint to the ship.  The kids are both waiting at the bottom, Sabine covering his retreat with shots from her own WESTARs as Ezra extends a hand to help Kanan up onto the hovering ship.  He breathlessly thanks the boy before nudging both him and Sabine up the ramp, firing several more shots at the squad as the ramp closes.

As soon as they’re inside, he dashes to the cockpit and slams into the pilot’s chair, nodding to a grumbling Chopper as he presses several commands into the console.

“Dorsal turret, I need cover fire!” he calls over the comm.

“ _Getting there!_ ” Sabine responds.  “ _Just get us out of here!_ ”

He pulls the steering yoke up, forcing the ship into a vertical climb.  Another ship, a small shuttle, enters his trajectory and he veers off hard, breaking and coming around again.

They aren’t pursued, and Kanan takes the freighter to Vizago’s assigned location, touching down carefully.  As soon as he leaves the cockpit, he’s bombarded with both teenagers and their questions.

“Kanan, who was that?”

“What was the other ship?  I thought you said Dolsher was the only problem.”

“What if they tell the Imps we were there?!”

“One at a time!” he says, extending a hand.  “No, I don’t know who either of those was. Let’s focus on the job right now, and I’ll try and answer the rest of your questions later.”

They nod, accompanying him as he heads to the cargo bay with Chopper trailing behind.  As they prep the crates to leave, Sabine’s question about the Lasat nags at him.

Who _was_ that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested in being a beta reader for this and other projects I'm working on, check out this link please: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdq6LOqkYmbR7vTCNgPczL0tzGg3hNvFSCGrhf4cZPRdNZ5eA/viewform?usp=pp_url


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for the caged bird  
> sings of freedom.  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan has a weird day, Sabine just wants to do some graffiti, and Ezra really likes cats.

“Can I stay on the ship?”

Kanan glances up at the boy’s question, watching as he shifts his weight and rubs his arm.  He nods quickly. “Of course. We should only be a couple of minutes.”

“‘kay thanks,” Ezra mumbles, turning and walking to the cockpit.  Kanan turns to the crates, pushing the last one to the bottom of the ramp where Sabine waits.  Upon reaching her, she turns and starts to push her own crate forward into the clearing. Chopper rolls over, beeping a sarcastic comment on their effectiveness as Kanan rolls his eyes.

“Sure, Chop.  Let’s get the job done.”

Ahead, a male Devaronian waits outside a large green cruiser.  Three of the crates already wait between the two ships.

As Kanan reaches the middle while Sabine starts to hook the crates up to each other, the other man approaches.

“Cikatro Vizago,” he drawls.  “And you are Kanan Jarrus?”

“Yeah.”  Sabine rises, nodding in confirmation to the unasked question in his glance.  “Crates are ready. But payment first.”

“Yes, yes, of course.”  As Vizago turns to one of the tall droids accompanying him, Kanan feels the same tingling in the back of his mind as he had felt in the hangar.

_The Force abandoned you a long time ago.  The only useful thing it’s done recently is help you find Ezra._

_And you’re only teaching him how to use it so that no one can take advantage of him again._

Still, he turns in time to see a small shuttle approaching.  Likely one of Vizago’s colleagues. But the Force tells him otherwise.

The shuttle does, too, when it begins firing on them.

“Sabine!” he yells suddenly.

“I’ve got your six!” she calls, twin WESTARs out and already firing at the shuttle.  Interruption taken care of, Kanan returns his attention to Vizago only to find the man staring at him with unrestrained fury in his gaze.

“You betrayed Vizago!” he shouts, pulling out his own blaster and aiming it right as Kanan draws his own.  “You will _pay_ for that, Jar—“

“Kanan!” Sabine yells.  Both he and Vizago turn to see the shuttle turning, loading ramp opening long enough for someone to jump out.  Kanan curses under his breath.

It’s the Lasat.  Of _course_ it’s the Lasat.

“Protect the crates!” Kanan shouts as the Lasat starts firing.  The ramp of the shuttle closes and it turns, beginning to fire again.  He hears a few more blaster charges and then footsteps, and a glance over his shoulder reveals Vizago running back to his ship.  He snorts. Typical.

Another bolt from the Lasat’s weapon explodes onto the ground near him and he jumps back, pulling out his comm.

“Spectre E get ready to leave!  See if you can get the guns online and firing while we bring the crates back in!”

The comm is staticy when Ezra replies.  “ _I- I can’t, Kanan, it’s- someone’s—_ “ his words begin to break up and Kanan strains to hear them, “ _blocking—can’t—out!_ ”

“ _Kanan!_ ”  Sabine’s shout is more of a screech this time, and his head whips around to see two chicken walkers coming toward them.   _Kriff._

“Sabine bring those crates onboard!  Let’s go!” he yells. The Mandalorian turns away from covering him, pushing the crates toward the loading ramp of the _Ghost._  Kanan casts a glance behind him to see the walkers, cursing under his breath.  With the Lasat on one side and the Empire on the other….

“Kanan come on!”

He turns back to Sabine, hesitating half a second before sprinting to the freighter.  He takes her offered hand, pulling himself up onto the ship. Together, they stumble into the cargo bay, and he wearily slams the ramp controls closed as Sabine comms up to the cockpit.

Kanan leaves her to secure the crates as he climbs the ladder two rungs at a time to reach the upper level before running to the cockpit.  “Aft gun!” he calls to Ezra. The boy nods, stumbling out of the copilot’s chair and away from the nose gun controls. Chopper rolls up to take his place, beeping a query as he plugs into the console.

“Yeah,” Kanan nods, twisting the ship to the left to narrowly evade a shot from one of the walkers.  “We’re going to our regular spot.” Satisfied, the droid turns away.

Finally, they get far enough away from the walkers and the shuttle that they’re no longer under fire.  Kanan exhales, only relaxing further as the freighter reaches a particularly large maze of the rocks that cover Lothal’s surface.  He guides the ship down into a small clearing between three of them and shuts off the engines.

He reaches the cargo bay at the same time as Ezra and Sabine.  Chopper fires his thrusters and clunks to the ground behind him as he drops to the floor.

“Can we go out?”  Ezra’s eyes are the brightest he’s seen them in a while, and Kanan knows that the Loth-cats he can sense outside are likely the cause.  Smiling, he nods.

“Of course.  Just make sure you can find your way back.”  The boy’s smile widens and he turns to the ramp controls and opens the ship.  Sabine follows as well, lugging a duffel with her that makes a rattling sound as it moves.

“Only touch-ups, Sabine.  Nothing on the rocks,” he calls.  She groans. “We don’t want to leave anything for the Empire to find us by.”

He leaves the ramp open as he heads back up the ladder, Chopper following in slight confusion.  They pause at the dejarik table and Kanan fiddles with it for a moment until the flickering HoloNet News logo pops up.

“Anything from your channels?” he asks the droid, still focused on the hologram.  He twists a dial and then slaps the side of the table. The hologram shudders violently and then morphs into another symbol—that of the Free Ryloth Movement.

It remains silent, so Kanan continues to mess with the controls as Chopper replies.  Turning over his shoulder to glance at the droid, he nods.

“Yeah?  It’d make sense if they were quieter now.  I’ve heard the Empire’s cracking down harder out here, especially with them.  Those two run-ins we’ve had confirm that. And didn’t they say the siege was worse last time you managed to get in contact?”

The droid warbles an affirmative.

“What about...Hera?”  He almost hesitates asking the question, afraid of the answer he knows is still possible.  Thankfully, the droid beeps in the negative, and he relaxes. “Well at least we don’t know she’s been killed.  I feel like they would’ve publicized the death of Cham’s kid if it happened, whether by their hands or not.” The droid grunts an assent before another question and Kanan shrugs as he stands, glaring down at the still-silent dejarik table.  “Don’t know. We might if I could ever actually get the audio working on this.” He kicks the foot of the table to emphasize his point, and the hologram still only shudders without playing any audio. Chopper questions why he’s not trying harder, and he shoots the droid another glare.  “The Empire’s been blocking this since day one. Watch.” He stoops and flips a switch, turning the HoloNet back on. The audio starts up again, a man who looks well underpaid saying something about a new branch of the Press Corps. “See? Blocked.”

Of course, that’s when it decides to prove him wrong.

The image suddenly flickers before cutting out completely, static playing under the inspired voice of a young woman.

“ _We have been called criminals, but we are not._ ”

“Chopper, track that,” he murmurs, leaning forward slightly.

“ _We are rebels, fighting for the people, fight—_ ”  The audio suddenly cuts out.  His frown deepens and he leans forward further, smacking the side of the table.  It resumes playing again.

“ _—ter.  Maybe not great, but never like this.  See what—_ ”  It cuts out again, and Chopper trills worriedly.

“I know, I know.  I’m trying to get it back online.”  Kanan kneels by the side of the table, flipping every switch he can see.  The audio plays again for a moment.

“ _—and to your freedom?  It’s only going to get wor—_ ”  He smacks the table a second time, and it begins to flicker off and on.  “ _—easy.  There will be loss, and sac—stand the talles—stand up together, because that’s when we’re str—_ ”  The audio cuts out completely, and within seconds the static also flashes away to an error message.  Kanan sits up, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“Well that was...something.”

There’s silence for several minutes before Chopper chirps in query.  Kanan casts the astromech a glance. “What?” The droid beeps again and his brow shoots up.  “You tracked it? Where to?” Another beep, and Kanan’s expression is now utterly in shock. “That shuttle we ran into earlier?  Are you sure?”

Chopper chirps positively, and Kanan feels the same tingling he’d felt before.

And then he hears Sabine’s yell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update speed will be slowing down soon to ensure I still have a buffer, but I have a lot of time to edit and stuff right now, so....
> 
> And I'm still in hysterics over the fact that AT-ST walkers are also called chicken walkers.
> 
> Also, if you're interested in being a beta reader for this and other projects I'm working on, check out this link please: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdq6LOqkYmbR7vTCNgPczL0tzGg3hNvFSCGrhf4cZPRdNZ5eA/viewform?usp=pp_url


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> of things unknown  
> but longed for still  
> and his tune is heard  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan needs to get some medical insurance for everyone, Sabine agrees, and Ezra gets overwhelmed by feelings easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Non-Consensual Drug Use by Minors, Restraint, Limb Trauma (broken leg), Mentions of Blood

He and Chopper emerge from the ship within seconds to find Ezra staring at something beyond their field of view.  The boy jerks around, his eyes wide and face pale as his unfocused gaze meets that of Kanan’s. He slows his approach, noting that the boy begins to tremble despite that.

“I- I’m sorry, she—“

“It’s okay.  Where is she, Ezra?”

The boy gestures to the side of the ship and Kanan rests a light hand on his arm before moving past.

The site that greets him twists his stomach.

Sabine’s on the ground, her leg twisted at an unnatural angle and her helmet next to her.  She starts to sit up upon sighting Kanan, but winces and lays back down with a hiss of pain.  He crouches next to her.

“What happened?”

“I was painting the top of the ship and- and Ezra came up and we were talking and then- then I stood up and I slipped and fell,” she says, breath catching every few seconds as her face contorts with pain.

“Can I see your leg?”  She nods and he carefully touches it.  Immediately, she gasps and swats his hand away.

“Now you can’t,” she mutters, putting a hand up to tuck hair behind her ear.

“I’m gonna help you get up so we can get you into the ship and take a better look at it, okay?”  She nods and he moves behind her, helping her up. Sabine gasps again as she puts weight on the injured leg.  He helps her put an arm around her neck, stooping to allow her to put most of her weight on him.

As they return to the loading ramp, they pass an unperturbed Chopper and a trembling Ezra.  At the sight of Kanan and Sabine, the boy lowers his head, shaking harder. Kanan sighs inwardly.

They walk to the common room and he helps ease her into the bench surrounding the dejarik table.  She shudders, leaning against the back of the bench and closing her eyes.

“I’ll go get the med kit.”

As he leaves, he catches a mumbled “thanks” under her breath.

He returns with the kit, the fact that they only have this one left nagging at him.  They’ll need to pick up another, hopefully while they’re still on Lothal. He sits next to her as she shifts, crying out as she raises her leg onto the bench and stretches it out.

Chopper rolls in only moments later, beeping to Kanan that Ezra went immediately to his room upon arriving on the upper level of the ship.  He nods, then gestures to Sabine. “Can you scan it?” The astromech rolls over, and within only a couple of minutes turns to Kanan and beeps again.  His brow furrows. “Broken? How much will the bone knitter—“ The droid cuts him off with a grunt, and he sighs, rubbing his temples before casting a glance at Sabine.

“Do we have another one?” she mumbles.

“No,” he says, mouth twisting into a frown.  “We’ll have to get one.” He digs into the med kit, pulling out a couple of painkillers and a bacta patch.  “Take these for now. I’m gonna go talk to Ezra, and then we’ll solve something about the bone knitter.”

“Okay,” she nods, taking the painkillers from him and swallowing them dry before carefully beginning to remove her leg armour.  He squeezes her shoulder as he stands, passing Chopper on his way to Ezra’s room.

He knocks on the kid’s door, waiting for the muffled “come in” before keying it open.  The boy’s curled up on the corner of his bunk against the wall, back to the door, but as Kanan enters, he turns.

“‘m sorry,” he mumbles immediately.  Kanan shakes his head, approaching and sitting on the bottom bunk.  Ezra climbs down and sits next to him, leg jogging as his eyes remain on the floor.

“No, kid.  You’re okay.  It wasn’t your fault.”

“But- but it was- I- I could’ve stopped her- could’ve stopped her from slipping—“

“ _ Ezra. _  You’re okay.  It could’ve happened to anyone.  You’re okay.” He carefully rests a hand on the boy’s knee, pretending not to notice as he flinches.

“Is she- is she okay?”

“Yeah.  But that’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about, actually.  Her leg’s broken, and the bone knitter’s broken too, according to Chopper.”  He sighs as Ezra’s bouncing leg stills. “We’re gonna have to make a supply run to Capital City for a new one.”

The boy clears his throat, finally risking a glance up at him.  “Can I help?”

Kanan raises an eyebrow.  “You’d have to go off ship.  In a pretty busy area. Lots of Imps, people that might know you….”

Ezra swallows but nods, determination barely covering the fear in his eyes.  “I want to help.”

“Alright.  If you’re sure.”  He stands from the bunk, glancing at the boy.  “Should be about ten, fifteen minutes. I’ll comm your room when we’re almost there.”  He nods, and Kanan leaves.

* * *

Ezra steps off the ship, pulling the scarf further up on his face as he casts a glance up at Kanan.  “I’ll have my comm on, so tell me if you need anything. I’ll start on the west end and you can wait on the east side for your part, yeah?”

He nods in response and Kanan flashes a quick smile, glancing up at Chopper as he walks down the loading ramp.  The man splits off from him as he remains still for a long moment before finally turning and heading into the streets.

It feels both completely natural and completely dangerous to be out here again, without Kanan backing him and watching his six.  Without even Sabine or Chopper to make sure he isn’t caught unawares.

He shudders as he passes a couple of vendors, one of which particularly had had a vendetta against him back when he had been thieving to survive.  He doesn’t blame the Rodian for that, but he  _ does _ blame him for telling Lisoret where to find him and the other street kids.

_ No.  Focus on the here and now, like Kanan taught you. _

He blinks, glancing to his right and studying a passing Imperial transport.  He only vaguely remembers when the Empire wasn’t on Lothal; he had been barely five when they had showed up for the first time.  No. He shakes his head to clear it of the memories. No use thinking of what he can’t change.

Still, he knows that Kanan will likely be able to slow the transport carrying the bone knitter, among other supplies, sooner than he can.  But he’s good at extraction. Always has been.

Grimacing, he remembers the mine.

_ Focus.  You’re getting a bone knitter for Sabine.  And it’s your fault she slipped, anyway. _

As he walks, he tries to get away from that line of thought.  No, it’s  _ not _ his fault.  They’d just been messing around, and she had slipped on some paint.

But if he can use the Force like Kanan said, then why hadn’t he been able to stop her fall?

He stops, breathing hard.  Kanan’s words at times like this come back to him.

_ Find a quiet spot to stop, reorient yourself.  Focus. It’s okay to let your guard down sometimes. _

He knows it isn’t, especially not here, not on Lothal.  But he does anyway, slipping into the mouth of a dark alleyway.  Old instincts tell him not to, scream that he’ll get jumped again, but he pushes them away.   _ Believe in the Force.  It’s always there for you. _  The irony of the fact that  _ Kanan _ was the one to tell him that…. _ No.  Focus. _  He shakes his head again.

He leans against the wall of the alley, screwing his eyes shut and tilting his head up as his breaths begin to come slower, as he  _ forces _ them to slow.  He has enough time before the transport starts to be able to make it to his assigned location in time.  Besides, Kanan doesn’t know these streets like he does.

Finally opening his eyes and inhaling with a slight shudder, he pushes off the wall and turns to the street, observing for several moments for an opening before he decides to leave the mouth of the alley.  The cuff scars on his left wrist start itching and he rubs at them absently, eyes still roving over the crowd.

It’s unnaturally busy today, especially considering there’s no festival.  But the spaceport had been oddly full as well. Ezra allows a small smile to slip onto his face at last.

Even if he’s here for a bone knitter, he can still make the day profitable otherwise.  Considering he hasn’t lost his touch.

The Force suddenly screeches at him to turn around, but he passes it off as nervousness.  Just an old habit. He would hear if someone—

A hand grips his arm without warning, twisting it and shoving him face-first up against the wall.  Ezra’s breathing quickens and he tries to turn his head to see who’s restraining him, but another hand slams his face back against the stone and pulls his scarf down with it.  He grimaces as his cheek, now pressed against the wall, is only forced further onto it as his captor adjusts his grip.

He reaches out with the Force, trying to sense the person’s intentions.

And then he stills, not even daring to breathe.

He knows this man.  After the last time they’d met, he hasn’t thought he would see him again.  After all, Kanan had  _ promised— _

_ Kanan’s not here.  You’re gonna have to save yourself this time. _

He pushes lightly against the man’s grip, testing it.  His head’s slammed into the building a third time, and out of the corner of his eye he catches blood leaking out of his nose.  There’s a deep chuckle as he sniffs.

“Didn’t think you would ever try and fight back anymore, boy.  You’ve changed.”

_ More than you would know. _  “You haven’t,” he snarls, shifting his weight.  The man’s grip on his arm tightens and he lets out an involuntary gasp.

“Where’s that spacer you’re so fond of?  Jalus or whatever?”

“Jarrus,” he corrects automatically.  “And—” what should he say? the truth, that Kanan’s busy? he won’t be getting out of here if he does so; and they both know it, “—he’s coming.”

“Sure, I bet he is, kid.”  The man chuckles again and Ezra briefly ponders how long he’d have left to live if he kicked the guy and ran.  “Just like you’ve been fr—”

“I have documentation,” he growls back.  “Like last time.”

“And where is it, hmm?”

Kriff.  Kriff kriff kriff kriff kriff  _ kriff. _

He left it on the ship.

“Thought so.  You see, boy,” the man shifts his grip as he drawls, and he’s reminded of that last day at the mine, “there’s not a thing you can do around here without documentation.  And I think you and I both know that.”

“Kanan will come,” he mutters.  “He- he’ll come.”  _ He always does. _

“Sure, kid.”  He hears a click and a beep, and starts struggling once more.  “Hold still, and I won’t have to stun you this time,” the man warns.  Ezra kicks out wildly, breaking his elbow free of the man’s grip and swinging it back.  His captor’s grip breaks, and Ezra stumbles backward, falling. At the look of fury on the man’s face, he starts to scramble to his feet, but the man’s already shoving him down again.

_ Kanan please come Kanan please I can’t do this again Kanan  _ please—

The faint hiss of a hypospray filling reaches his ears and he struggles against the grip on his arms.  Instead, the man simply grabs his hair with one hand, jerking his head up to expose his neck.  _ Oh  _ kriff.  He tries to pull away, breathing heavily as he spots the hypospray out of the corner of his eye.

“Kanan’s gonna kill you!” he yells, a last desperate attempt to intimidate the man into leaving.  “When he comes—”

“ _ If _ he comes, kid.  And that’s a big i—”

“Step away from him.”

He blinks, trying to see who arrived, but the hypospray is jamming into his neck and all he can see are stars.  He grunts as the man releases him to fall face-first onto the ground, barely aware as his captor rises to meet the newcomer.

“He has no documentation—”   
“I don’t care, I’m with Kanan, and Kanan says he needs him back.  He sent me to find him.”

The voice is unfamiliar, but feminine.  More firm than Sabine’s, which means its owner is likely an adult.  He realizes it reminds him of the night-cycles he and Kanan and Sabine and Chopper have spent in hyperspace on the  _ Ghost _ during a run.

“Then where’s Jarrus?  I wanna see the kid’s documentation.”

“I never said he had any, only that Kanan wanted him.”

He can hear everything with an acuteness that hurts, but he can’t make sense out of any of it, only that they’re talking about Kanan.  He wants to tell them that he knows Kanan, that Kanan was the one who- the one who—

He can’t remember anymore, but he realizes he doesn’t mind.  If they would just stop  _ talking _ so this buzzing in his head would go away—

“—you basically  _ drugged _ him, as I stood here and watched.  You could be fined and—”

The words are starting to break off, becoming half-formed phrases he hears but still doesn’t comprehend.  He only wants Kanan, and he’s no longer sure why.

“—fine!”  Stomping feet as the man’s voice ends in a yell.  He tries to frown but can’t, can’t remember  _ why _ he dislikes this man, only that he does.

Warm arms encircle him.  A click of a comm.   
“ _ Hera, where are you?  There’s a ‘trooper squad a bit too close…. _ ”

He stops trying to pay attention to the words as someone makes him sit up, blearily opening his eyes to see a green face and lekku.

“...got a kid….He’s drugged, need you to...soon.”  Another click as the comm turns off, and then the face is turning toward him.  He blinks, eyelids heavy, and tries to sit up further, but everything feels too heavy.  He decides that staying how he is right now is fine.

Oh, wait.  The feminine voice is saying something.

“...safe….”

He allows the darkness in fully, and he knows nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anddd the Queen herself has arrived!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A free bird leaps  
> on the back of the wind   
> and floats downstream   
> till the current ends  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan is worried, Sabine is salty, and Ezra is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced Non-Consensual Drug Use by Minors, Mentions of Blood

He groans, blinking as he opens his eyes.  Gray walls, a long bench bolted along them...turning the other way, he sees a cockpit.

He freezes.  He’s on a ship.

Closing his eyes, he breathes out shakily through his nose, trying to remember how he got here and why his head is pounding.  It’s slow, but it comes back, and once it does he wishes he was still unconscious.

Footsteps near him and someone sits nearby, resting the back of a hand on his forehead.  He stiffens, sucking in a breath.

“Hey.  Are you okay?”

He remains still, trying to keep up the illusion of being asleep.

“I know you’re awake,” the voice says.  He stiffens further. “But if you don’t want to answer me, then you don’t have to.  It’s okay.” The owner of the voice lightly squeezes his arm and stands. He decides to risk it.

Opening his eyes, he takes in a green Twi’lek woman about Kanan’s age turning away from him.  He sits up, sniffing, and she turns.

“Where- where am I?” he asks, throat dry.  A faint smile flashes across her face that almost seems nostalgic, in a way, but it’s gone before he can recognize why.

“The  _ Phantom. _  It’s my shuttle.”  She takes a step closer, but at his flinch she pauses and indicates the space on the bench next to him.  “Can I sit here?”

He nods warily, and she does so.  They study each other for a long moment, and when he’s about to ask if he can leave, she finally introduces herself.  “I’m Hera.”

“Ezra.”  He glances down to find himself rubbing at the scars on his wrist and forces himself to stop, clearing his throat.  “Where’s my comm?”

“Here.”  She sticks a hand into one of the pockets in her flightsuit and he flinches until she takes it out, comm gripped tightly in her hand.  She gives it to him.

He cautiously clicks it on, clearing his throat again.  “Spectre E to  _ Ghost. _ ”

There’s an immediate response.  “ _ Ezra!  Where are you!? _ ”

“I ran into someone,” he answers evasively, gaze still on Hera.  “I- I might need a pickup.”

“ _ It’s been a  _ rotation!”  Kanan’s voice is stronger now, not angry, but worried.  “ _ Where are you? _ ”

He glances over at Hera, an eyebrow raised in question.  “Here, I can send him coordinates.”

“Hera’s gonna send you the coordinates.”

“ _ Hera? _ ”

“Yeah, that’s the name of the person who rescued me.”

“ _ Wait,  _ rescued?”

“I’ll explain later.  Here.” Ezra clicks it off and hands the comm to her as she stands, heading for the cockpit.  He stands and follows her.

She rests the comm on the console and turns to him.  “What’s his channel?”

“Seven eighty nine oh oh one dash a,” he recites.  She types it in as he speaks, then presses something else before turning the comm back on.

“I just transmitted them.”

“ _ Thanks.  Give it back to the kid, yeah?  I wanna talk to him. _ ”  She nods and hands the comm to Ezra.

He leans against the wall of the cockpit, eyes still on Hera as he responds.  “I’m here.”

“ _ Did he hurt you at all? _ ”

He shakes his head.  “Not really. Just a bloody nose, and I think he might’ve drugged me.”

Kanan snorts.  “ _ I’d consider that hurting you. _ ”

“It’s fine.  It wasn’t anything really bad.  I’ll be fine.”

“ _ Ezra…. _ ”

“I’ll be fine,” he repeats, the insistence in his voice telling Kanan not to press him, not now when Hera’s here and he’s still not sure what she wants.  “Just...come. Soon.” He clicks it off and turns to Hera.

“Why’d you intervene?” he asks bluntly.  She looks surprised.

“I heard you yelling, and then I saw what was going on.”

“But why’d you  _ care? _  No one cares.”   _ Except Kanan and Sabine and okay,  _ maybe _ Chopper. _

Confusion is written across her face as she responds, more slowly.  “There’s always someone who cares, Ezra. Even if it doesn’t seem like that at times.”

He nods and falls silent, thinking about her words.  Finally he speaks again, clearing his throat. “How’d you know about Kanan?”

“You were shouting something about him defending you, so I took a guess.”  She shrugs. “And you looked like you needed help.”

He nods, shifting.  “Thanks.”

Hera smiles.  “Don’t. Anyone would’ve done the same.”

He knows she’s wrong, but he doesn’t correct her.

* * *

Kanan’s hands are tight on the steering yoke.  That  _ voice. _

He knows it.

It’s the same person who spoke out about the Empire only a rotation before.

And that person happens to be with Ezra.

Still, a small voice reminds him that the kid hadn’t sounded  _ fearful, _ only...wary.  And even opening himself up to the Force reveals no warnings, just the same mildly pleasant tingling he’s felt so many times over the past couple of rotations.

Sabine sits in the copilot’s seat next to him, eyes on the grass out the windscreen as they speed over it.  Chopper grunts a warning that they’re within a minute of the coordinates the woman had given, and he turns to Sabine.

“The person with Ezra is calling herself Hera,” he announces, drawing the teenager’s attention away.  “I don’t know what she’s like, so you’ll be st—“

“I’m  _ not _ staying on the ship,” she snaps, folding her arms.  “I can take care of myself.”

“Your leg’s broken, and—“

She waves a hand in dismissal.  “I’ve got a splint, I’ll be fine.”

“ _ Sabine. _ ”

She glares at him a moment longer and then his gaze softens as he decides to change tactics.  “Look, I need someone to watch our six. Chopper’s...well, Chopper,” predictably, the droid shrieks in protest, “and you know how to pilot too in case we need to leave quickly.  Can I trust you to do that for me?”

She sighs dramatically but nods as he starts to engage the landing gears.  “I  _ guess. _ ”

He nods, turns back to glance out the windscreen again, and stops cold.

Outside is the same shuttle from the failed drop off.

“Sabine,” he begins warningly, “be ready.”

He unholsters his blaster and leaves the cockpit.

The shuttle’s ramp is open and he hears voices within—the deep, gravelly baritone of a male that sounds familiar enough to put him on edge, and then the voice of the woman—Hera.  He still doesn’t even know if it _is_ _that_ Hera, and it’s only serving to heighten his anxiety.

He doesn’t hear Ezra, not even after a couple of minutes of listening.  Immediately, the various possibilities flood his mind, none of them good.

_ “I think he might’ve drugged me.” _

He closes his eyes, trying to center himself and connect to the boy at the same time.  He opens them a moment later.

He’s alive.

But the bond is weak—he can’t tell if Ezra is three feet or three klicks away from him, and his anxiety deepens.  He knows nothing about this  _ Hera, _ either, nothing beyond the fact that she dared to speak out against the Empire and that she “rescued” Ezra.  For all he knows, the woman could’ve set it up herself as a ploy to recapture the boy.

After all, without documentation, Ezra has no protection.  He’s nothing to the vast majority of the galaxy, and even more so here, where Imperial control is tight enough to choke and he already knows people.

_ If he’s in there, you can’t help him unless you go in yourself. _

Steeling himself, he walks in.

The voices stop immediately as he pauses at the entrance, taking in the interior of the small shuttle and the Lasat and Twi’lek sitting across from each other.

He can’t see Ezra.

“Where is he?”

The Lasat rises, and he recognizes him as the same man at the hangar and the drop off.

“Who are you?” the man growls in a low tone, taking a step toward Kanan.  The Twi’lek woman stands and approaches, placing a hand on the Lasat’s arm as if restraining him.

And then he sees her face.

All thoughts of the pair taking Ezra back dissipate as he takes a step forward, whispering brokenly.

“Hera?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also love this chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The free bird thinks of another breeze  
> and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan gets a very nice surprise, Sabine is confused, and Ezra takes a nap before listening in on conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced Non-Consensual Drug Use by Minor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

Her face creases into a smile, as if she’s been waiting for him to ask.  “Yes,” she replies quietly. “Ezra was right. It _is_ you.”

They erase the distance between them in moments, and he’s gripping the back of her flightsuit and holding her close to him as she clutches back just as desperately.

“I never thought…” he mumbles, trailing off.

“I’ve been out for two years now.  People mentioned you, but I thought it was all rumors….”  She sighs, but it sounds more like regret than outright sadness.  “I still can’t believe you’re real.”

“I’m real,” he replies, smiling into her lekku.  “And I’m here.”

Someone clears their throat and he pulls back enough to see the Lasat watching them, ears twitching slightly.  “I hate to break up the reunion, but uh, the kid’ll wanna see you.”

Kanan takes a slight step backwards, still holding Hera.  He nods. “Where is he?”

* * *

Hera stops at the entrance to the cockpit, gesturing to the boy curled up in the copilot’s seat.  He feels a slight smile twitch across his face as he watches Ezra’s chest rise and fall, face almost peaceful in sleep.

He turns to Hera, voice lowered.  “How long has he been asleep?”

She shrugs.  “The past half hour, I think.  He was out for a while and when he came to, he wandered up here and fell asleep almost immediately.”  He nods.

“I’ll wait till he wakes up, then.  Better comm Sabine and let her know.”  He steps out of the cockpit, turning his comm on and speaking into it.  “Spectre Kay to _Ghost._  I’ve got the kid, but he’s asleep.  So—”

“ _Asleep!?  What do you_ mean, _‘asleep?’  What about the people with him?_ ”

“They’re fine.  I know one of them, actually.”  He casts a glance over to Hera, shooting her a small smile which she returns.

“ _Oh._ ”

“You can either wait in the ship or come out, but tell Chopper he’ll get an oil bath later as long as he stays there.”  There’s an excited whistle on the other end of the comm and he chuckles. “If you don’t come, I’ll be a while. I’m gonna let the kid sleep a bit more.  Spectre Kay out.” He clicks the comm off and glances at Ezra before his gaze is once again drawn to Hera.

She’s _here._  With _him._

She’s _alive._

She suppresses a slight laugh, covering her mouth with a raised hand just like he remembers her doing on Ryloth.

“What?” Kanan asks, grinning widely.

She tackles him in a hug, pressing him against the wall.  “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” he murmurs, rubbing her back as he rests his head on hers, careful not to touch her lekku.  “So much.” His voice breaks, but for once he doesn’t mind.

“What have you been doing since you left?” she asks after several more seconds of silence.  He pulls back enough to look down at her, still grinning like a fool.

She’s _here._

“Well, I still have your father’s ship.  I started a smuggling company, and you’ve met Ezra clearly.  And then there’s Sabine, I’ll introduce you to her.”

“And you still have Chopper, too, right?” she asks, unable to keep her excitement from showing.  “You mentioned him on the comm.”

“Yeah.  I didn’t even know he was on the ship when we left, but we’ve stuck together.  Force, Hera, I _promise_ we kept an eye out for you.  We had the FRM transmissions running almost nonstop until we met Ezra, and even then I’ve been trying to check it at least once a day.  I just...when they mentioned the siege had been lifted, it was when I found Ezra and we were dealing with some things. I swear, Hera, Chopper and I were gonna go, but one thing led to another, and then it got put back under siege….”  He sighs, shaking his head and closing his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Kanan.  Look at me.”  He opens his eyes and glances down at Hera.  Her gaze is intense as she continues. “I don’t blame you.  My father wouldn’t have let you anywhere near one of the encampments if you had showed up anyway.  There was an order to shoot you on sight, and kill you if stunning wasn’t an option.”

He sighs and shakes his head again.  “Still, there should’ve been _something…._ ”

Someone clears their throat and he blinks, looking over her head to see Ezra kneeling on the copilot’s chair, watching them over the back of it.

“I...figured you didn’t want to be interrupted but...I’m also kind of eavesdropping,” he explains, swiveling the chair slightly.  Kanan nods slightly.

“Uh...thanks, kid.  And you and Hera have met?”

He nods.  “Yeah. She...saved me.”

His brow furrows, and he doesn’t need to ask Hera to move out of the way as he moves past to go to Ezra.  “Who was it?” he asks as he kneels.

The boy shifts uncomfortably, casting a glance at Hera.  As Kanan looks back, he catches Hera smiling in understanding before slipping out of the cockpit.  He turns to the teenager.

“Dolsher...found me,” he says in a whisper no louder than a breath, gaze dropping as he turns around to sit normally.  “In- in Capital City.”

Kanan’s blood runs cold as he remembers the first time he met the kid.  Dolsher was there then, too, and even though he only watched them interact for a few minutes at most, he can tell the effect the man has had on Ezra.  Not to mention the last time they’d run into each other….

Kanan sighs.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you go.  Chopper told us that his ship was there, but I wasn’t thinking.  I know that’s not an excuse, but...I’m sorry.”

Ezra shrugs, pushing hair out of his face even though his gaze remains on the ground.  “It’s fine. I should’ve been more careful. Shouldn’t have let my guard down.”

“No, kid.  It’s not your fault.  It’s his. You shouldn’t even have to worry about keeping your guard up like that in the first place.”

“I didn’t even think to use the Force either, though,” he mumbles, blinking.

“Ezra, look.  That doesn’t matter to me.  What matters is that you’re here, and you’re safe now.  You’re not back there. Okay?”

“Okay.”  The kid still sounds incredibly despondent, and Kanan sighs again.

“Did he do anything?”

“No.”  He shakes his head vigorously, gaze now furious.  Reaching out through the Force, Kanan realizes that Ezra’s anger is directed towards himself.  “He just pushed me around and drugged me.”

“That’s still not okay.”

He shrugs as he answers, voice monotone.  “It’s fine.”

“Ezra….”

“Look, Kanan, it wasn’t like what you’re thinking.  It never got that bad, and you know I wasn’t...there.  I can deal with getting pushed around.”

Running a hand through his hair, he sighs.  “But my point is that you shouldn’t have to.”

“I’ve dealt with it before, and I can deal with it again.”  Ezra stands abruptly, gaze still on the floor. “Is the _Ghost_ here?”

“Yeah, but—“

“I’m gonna go talk to Sabine.”  He walks out of the cockpit, leaving Kanan alone and speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure I love ittttttttt.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> his wings are clipped and  
> his feet are tied  
> so he opens his throat to sing.  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan has a heart-to-heart, Sabine knows true talent when she sees it, and Ezra sort of makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Limb Trauma (Broken Leg), Mention of Slavery, Implied/Referenced Electrocution, Implied/Referenced Torture
> 
> This is the chapter a lot of you guys have been waiting and asking for!

“Hera, this is Sabine.”

“Yeah I already met Zeb,” the girl comments in a rush, nodding to Hera.  “So you’re a pilot?”

Hera nods, and Kanan smiles as a grin grows on Sabine’s face.  “Yes. My father taught me.” She and Kanan share a glance. “Taught both of us.”

“So then why are you so much better at piloting than Kanan?  Can you fly the _Ghost?_  When did you and Kanan meet?”  The girl rattles off questions too fast for anyone to comprehend, though Kanan catches enough to make his mouth twist into a frown.

“I’m a great pilot!  What do you mean, ‘so much better?!’”  Sabine smirks.

“Just the truth.”

Hera gestures to the girl’s leg before the joking argument can escalate.  “What happened to your leg?”

“I...fell.”

Kanan snorts, folding his arms.  She shoots him a glance but he doesn’t comment as Hera asks another question.

“Is it broken?”

“Yeah.”

“You have a bone knitter, don’t you?”  This time, the question is aimed at Kanan, accompanied by a raised eyebrow.

“Well, _technically…._ ”

“It’s broken,” Sabine interrupts.  He nods in agreement.

“That’s why Ezra and I were in Capital City when you...found him.”

She nods in understanding.  “Ah. Well, Zeb and I have one.  Here.” Hera stands and pulls up the seat of the bench, digging through the storage area underneath before resurfacing with the small device.  She passes it to Kanan.

He takes it as Sabine starts removing the splint and then her leg armor.  She gives a quiet hiss of pain. He raises an eyebrow as he looks at her. “You good?”

“Yeah, just do it.  I’ll be fine when my splint’s back on,” she mutters, giving a sharp nod.  Shrugging, he turns it on, watching her face as it contorts in pain.

Hera watches on in silence, taking the bone knitter back when Kanan finishes.  As she goes to put it away, Sabine begins talking as Kanan helps her put the splint back on.  
“So, Hera.  Will you be staying with us?”

Kanan glances up at her and then at Hera.  The woman has stilled, kneeling by the bench despite having completed the task of returning the bone knitter to its rightful place.  After several long seconds, she finally straightens and turns, a tight smile on her lips as she avoids looking at Kanan.

“I’m not sure, Sabine.  I’ll have to talk to Zeb first.”  The girl nods.

“Speaking of which, I have to go talk to Ezra,” Kanan announces, standing.  Sabine lifts her leg back off of the bench, and he feels both her eyes and Hera’s on him as he leaves.

Kanan lingers at the side of the ship after he exits, watching Zeb try to make conversation with Ezra.  He’s still wary of the Lasat—after their initial two meetings, how could he not be?—but he trusts Hera’s judgement enough to let Ezra be alone with him.

The kid still seems uncomfortable, though that’s no surprise considering his past and the fact that Zeb has been shooting at them every other time they’d seen each other.  But he’s not trying to edge away, or call out through the bond; he’s listening to Zeb tell a quiet story.

He smiles, and sits on the ramp of the _Phantom;_ the boy deserves a bit more peace in his life.

* * *

“Alright, Chop, you can come down now.”

He hears the droid warble from above, watching as the little astromech fires its thrusters and lowers himself to the floor with a _clunk._  As the droid rolls toward him, Kanan smiles to himself.

“Your surprise is outside, Chop.”

The astromech grunts and rolls down the ramp.

Halfway down, Kanan hears Chopper stop.

“ _Chopper._ ”

An excited shriek escapes the droid as it whizzes down the rest of the ramp, knocking into Hera so hard Kanan can _hear_ the collision followed by her breathless “oof.”  Her laughter fills the air soon after as she speaks with excitement saturating her tone to her droid.

Kanan’s smile widens, but he stays in the ship, allowing them to catch up in silence.

* * *

“So, Ezra.”

“Yeah?”

They’re laying on the top of the _Ghost,_ staring at the stars like how they used to on Ryloth the nights before one or both of them headed out on a raid.  The memories it stirs within his chest make him ache, but he can’t explain why. She’s here with him now, what more could he want?

“What about him?” he adds in the silence as she tries to phrase her question.

“You told me earlier that both of the kids on your crew have a story.  What’s his?”

He hesitates, thinking whether to tell her or not.  As he thinks, he sees her reaching out a hand to toy with the ends of his loose hair.  He smiles, redirecting his gaze toward the stars once again.

As Kanan thinks how best to explain Ezra’s situation, he remembers the moment he saw the boy.  Thin, the raggedy brown shirt he’s since traded out for the orange one barely hanging onto his shoulders.  Even the shock collar had looked too big, shifting with every movement the boy made and only serving to accentuate the miniscule scars surrounding it.

“He...I first saw him on Lothal,” he begins.  “Chopper and I...were meeting a client in one of the smaller, less...traditional towns.”

Hera makes a soft noise of encouragement, and vaguely he wonders how she’s always been so able to see through him.

“It...there was an auction.  They said he was from the mine just outside the town, that...that he had ‘behavioural and health issues’ that made him unfit for work.”  Kanan swallows, the image of the boy’s face when they had locked eyes with each other still burned into his memory. “He was the only kid there.  And he was- _Force,_ Hera, he was _so young._  And he told me, later, that he’d been in the system since he was about eight.”  He closes his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. “He said slavers found him, a year or so after his parents were arrested.  Said he trusted them, that they told him he’d be safe—and _Force,_ Hera….I still can’t….”  He has to stop for a minute, breathing in and exhaling slowly in an attempt to slow the fury that always surfaces with the first few memories he has of Ezra—but not at the kid, Force _never_ at the kid, only at those who had dared to take away his freedom.  Taking in a shaky breath, he makes himself continue.

“At the time, it was just Chop and I, and the last job had given us a pretty decent payout.  And the kid...after I saw him, I couldn’t just...couldn’t just _leave_ him there.  Not with...not with everything that could’ve happened, with who he could’ve been sold to with eyes like that...apparently that was a _selling point,_ ” he spits, pausing for a moment and breathing in sharply before continuing.  “So I paid their kriffin’ price, bought the kid his freedom, got him some actual documentation, offered him a job.  He was hesitant, at first, but you’ve met him—you know he’s like that. He gets like that around everyone at first. But he agreed after around a rotation thinking about it, and after he was more comfortable with me, a few months later I think, I asked if he wanted to be trained.  I think the Force was what drew me to him in the first place.” He takes another shuddering breath in and falls silent, Hera’s breathing and the susurrus of the nightlife in the surrounding grass the only sounds.

It’s a long time before she speaks, and he almost thinks she’s fallen asleep, but then she says, “That was a good thing you did for him, Kanan.  He’s immensely grateful, anyone can see it.”

“That’s not why I did it.  I did it because he was just a scared kid.”   _Just like I was once,_ he adds in his head.  “He shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

“He mentioned something to me.  Something about you not believing in the Force anymore or something,” Hera says, her voice careful.  He swallows, thinking before answering.

“I do.  I just...not in the way I used to.”

“Then why are you teaching him?”

“Because he needs a way to defend himself.  And because everyone’s better off for having _something_ to believe in.”

She’s silent, and he thinks she’s going to leave the conversation at that.  But then she responds with a question he realizes he’s never had to think about before.

“And you?”

He chooses to feign ignorance.  “Me?”

“What do _you_ have to believe in?”

_You._

“Nothing,” he murmurs, and closes his eyes.  “Nothing at all. Not anymore.”

He might be imagining it, but her sigh sounds almost _disappointed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chopper and Hera's reunion is still one of my favorite scenes in this ahhhhhh they're so cute I love them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> his wings are clipped and   
> his feet are tied  
> so he opens his throat to sing.  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan has flashbacks, Sabine apparently loves Hera too, and Ezra fixes things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Reference to Slavery, Implied/Referenced Animal Death (in story)

Ezra blows hair out of his eyes, pulling back from unscrewing the bolt for a minute to study it again.  It’s twisted in slightly crooked, and he needs to get it out, but the fact that it’s twisted is the very reason he can’t.  He stares at the bolt and tries to puzzle it out as he reaches blindly by his leg for one of the clamps.

“Ezra?”

“Yeah?” he answers as his fingers reach the clamp.  He grasps it and closes it onto the bolt, trying to wiggle it out of the hole.

“What’re you doing under there?”

“Just some maintenance.”  He grunts as the bolt abruptly falls out, the clamp falling and hitting him in the jaw with the release of pressure.

“Well, whenever you’re done, can you come out?”

“I can be done now, hold on.”  He grabs the extra bolt and screws it in quickly, checking that it’s straight before pushing himself out from under the console and scrambling to his feet to face Hera.  She smiles, taking in the sight of his ruffled hair and the dust covering both it and his face along with the welt forming on his jaw. He cringes internally.

“What were you doing?”

“Like I said, just some maintenance.  Sabine said the main comms have been acting up occasionally, so I was checking to see if it was caused by anything in there.”  He gestures toward the console, sticking a foot under it and dragging some of the tools back out. “Turned out a bolt was loose.”

“Do you do maintenance on the ship a lot?” she asks, moving to the pilot’s chair and sitting.  He starts to edge cautiously toward the copilot’s seat, casting another glance at her in a silent request for permission.  She doesn’t respond to it, if she even notices it, and he adjusts his position accordingly, leaning against the console instead.

“Sometimes,” he responds finally.  “Mostly just if someone’s been complaining about something not working.  But I like doing it.”

She makes a noise of acknowledgment, gaze drifting away from him to rove over the cockpit.  His own gaze drops to the floor, studying the tools clustered near his foot.

“Ezra?”

At her voice his head jerks up again.  He nods quickly.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know how to pilot?”

He shakes his head, an uncertain smile creeping across his face.  “No.” Earlier that morning, Kanan had mentioned that he had told Hera the gist of his background the night before, citing the possibility of her and Zeb joining their crew permanently as the reason she would need to know his background.  The knowledge of their conversation makes him both more cautious and glad that he won’t have to explain it to her himself eventually. But Kanan trusts her, and Kanan’s never knowingly led him astray before.

So he decides to add, “None of my owners thought I needed to know….But I was with a mechanic for a while.  So I know how ships work. In theory. And I’ve seen Kanan and Sabine fly.”

Hera nods, a sad smile slipping into her expression.  “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

He shrugs, looking away.  “It’s fine.”

“It’s not, Ezra.  I don’t know if Kanan told you, but we grew up on Ryloth together, and I was there a lot longer than him.  I’ve seen what slavery does to people. No one should have to go through that.  _ No one. _ ”

Her words are reminding him of Kanan’s.  “Well, I did, and it’s over, so it doesn’t matter,” he says finally, gaze not lifting.  Out of the corner of his eye, he catches her nod sadly.

“In that case...do you  _ want _ to learn?”

His breath catches, and he’s unable to keep his eyes from rising to meet hers.  “Are you saying you’d teach me?”

“Yes.  If you wanted.”

Ezra smiles.  “I- I do. Please.”

“We can start tomorrow.”

* * *

“Will you stay?”

He feels her gaze shift to him from a few inches away.  They’re on the top of the  _ Ghost _ again, another cloudless night filled with only their voices and the sounds of the Loth-cats below.

It’s a long moment until Hera responds.  “I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to talk to Zeb.”

“Hmm.”  They fall silent again, and he studies the constellations above.  Ezra had explained them to him once, in the first year they’d been together.

_ “Does it have a story?” _

_ “A story?” he echoes. _

_ “Yeah.  What people say happened.  Why it’s there, or who it’s supposed to be.” _

_ “Oh.”  There’s silence, but it’s not tense, not like it’s always been between them in the past, with the kid waiting to get some sort of punishment for doing anything. _

_ Fittingly, it’s the boy that chooses to break it this time.  “I don’t think that one does, no. But there’s two other wolf ones.”  The boy traces two more shapes, neither of which he himself can much differentiate from the rest of the starscape.  “That’s the Big Wolf, and then Little Wolf.” _

_ “Do they have one?” _

_ “Yeah.  I- I think.  Or at least I remember hearing a story about them once.” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “The Little Wolf’s family disappeared one day, I think they said it was hunters or something, because I know it’s illegal to hunt them on Lothal.  But his family disappeared, and he was alone, and- and scared. He ran and ran and ran, and then he found the hunters. He wanted to fight them, but they were bigger and stronger than he was, and they tried to capture him, too. _

_ “But that’s where the other wolf comes in, Kanan.  He heard Little Wolf crying for someone to come and help him, and he came and found Little Wolf and the hunters, and he stopped them.  He protected Little Wolf and fought them and then they ran away because he was so much bigger and stronger than they were and they got scared.  But then, after a while, the hunters found them again.” The kid falls silent, and after a few minutes he dares to ask for a conclusion to the story. _

_ “And then what happened?  Did the hunters kill them?” _

_ “I don’t know.  That’s all I heard.” _

“I think you should.”

She chuckles softly.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he answers, his tone serious.  “Sabine likes you. Ezra likes you. And Chopper and I want you to stay of course.”

“We’ll see.”

Kanan continues staring at the stars, blinking only occasionally.

_ “But his family disappeared, and he was alone and scared.” _

“Where would we even stay, Kanan?”  Hera’s quiet voice breaks the silence.  “There’s only four cabins. I mean, if we kept the  _ Phantom _ docked, then Zeb or I could sleep on that….”

“Ezra and I could share a room,” he answers after a moment of hard thought.  “He’d be more open to sharing with me than Zeb, I think. That is,  _ if _ he’s open.  And I don’t think Sabine would be at all open to sharing.”  He doesn’t add that he’s still a bit uneasy around Zeb; Hera can probably tell.  “But no one should have to sleep on the  _ Phantom. _ ”

“Alright.  I’ll talk to Zeb about it then, I guess.”

“And I’ll talk to Ezra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy April Fools’ Day everyone (though this chapter isn’t fake or a joke, it’s jsut me looking for another excuse to post early😂)!!
> 
> Anddd last night I finished all of this fic!! It’s the fastest I’ve ever written a complete work (I started the draft on February 28th), and probably my favorite thing I’ve written thus far, so I’m proud and I can’t wait for you guys to see how it all ends.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A free bird leaps  
> on the back of the wind  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan is a Concerned Dad, Sabine is good at dejarik, and Ezra gets overwhelmed with piloting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced Non-Consensual Drug Use by Minors, Child Abuse

“Alright, so pull up just a bit– not that much!”

He freezes, trying to hold the steering yoke still at the height he jerked it up to only seconds before.  His breaths are heavy as he glances out the windscreen, gulping at the sight of the grass below.

“Okay, Ezra.  You can gun it and pull it up again, just not too much.  She’s easy to fly, once you get comfortable with it.” He nods, trying to ease his trembling as he carefully sends the engine more fuel and pulls up on the steering yoke.  The nose of the _Phantom_ begins to tip upward slightly and it begins soaring in a slight arc.

“Now try landing it.”

He glances over at Hera.  “ _Land_ it?” he squeaks.

“Yes.”  She nods, then leans over him to place her hands over his.  “I’ll help you. Ease up on the fuel for a second.”

He eases up gradually, letting Hera take over most of the landing procedure.  She points out each of the controls as she does so, and within a few minutes the small shuttle is touching down gently.  As soon as it’s settled, Ezra slumps back in the seat with a sigh. She glances over at him and chuckles.

“Confusing at first, isn’t it?”

He nods, blinking slowly.  “Ye- yeah.”

Hera smiles softly at him.  “You look like you could use a break.  Wanna go find Kanan?” Ezra nods more vigorously.  “Alright. I’ll take us back.”

He undoes the safety restraint and scrambles out of the seat as she slides into it.  As Hera guides the shuttle back toward the _Ghost,_ he gives up on trying to watch her fingers flitting across the console controls.  Instead, he focuses his gaze on the grass, the side of his mouth twitching into a slight frown as he remembers a flight similar to this years ago.

_The cuffs are chafing on his wrists and he’s too light-headed, feeling like he’s about to collapse at any moment, but the chain his restraints are attached to is too far off of the ground for him to even kneel comfortably.  Instead, he tries to lean against the wall, gaze shifting every few seconds as the drugs course through his system. They keep him from forming any coherent thoughts longer than a few words, but he can focus just enough to know that the way Dolsher glances back at him occasionally is making him uneasy._

_He swallows dryly, forcing his gaze away from the man and toward the windscreen, watching as the grass speeds by underneath them.  If it weren’t for the faint vibrations he feels more than hears beneath and around him, he would think the grass is what’s moving._

_There’s a beep from the console, the automated “_ autopilot engaged _” sounding unnaturally loud to his ears.  He shifts his weight as Dolsher stands and approaches, roughly taking his chin in his hand and pulling it up.  He stiffens._

_“You aren’t gonna try anything this time, yeah?  Because if you lose me anymore credits than you already have….”  The hand tightens slightly and he swallows, blinking as he tries to puzzle out the man’s words.  Something about behaving, he thinks._

_“The...the crate was- wasn’t my fault,” he says thickly, the words getting caught in his throat.  That’s the only reason he could be this mad, right? The whole crate incident? It’s only been a couple of weeks since then anyway.  The man in front of him gives a hard, short laugh._

_“Sure, kid.  Just like when you said that it wasn’t you who pushed Aresh halfway across the tunnel, despite you being the only one who was close enough to do it.”_

_He jerks his chin out from Dolsher’s grasp, shaking his head desperately even though the motion makes him sick.  “I did-_ didn’t do it! _” he protests, mind still muddled.  “I ne- ne- never touched him, I sw—”_

_“Kriffin’ bet you do,” the man snarls, backhanding him viciously.  “We all saw it happen.”_

_He blinks dumbly, his vision hazy as the man grabs his chin and tilts his head up again.  At this point, he could care less what happens, as long as he gets to either fall unconscious or sleep.  Either way works._

_Dolsher mutters something to himself about drug dosages and grabs an object off his belt.  He flinches violently, back slamming hard against the wall. Even when he sees that the item is just a glowrod, he still remains wary, stiffening as the man pulls his face down and flashes the glowrod in his eyes._

_“Told them not to give you that much.  In a couple minutes you won’t be able to tell up from down anymore, kid.  And we still got a ways to go.”_

_He gives an involuntary groan as the light turns off, and as Dolsher returns the glowrod to his belt his vision grows hazy again._

_“No use fighting it, boy.  It’ll take effect regardless.”_

“Ezra?”

He blinks, glancing up to see Hera staring down at him in concern.  He realizes with a start that the _Phantom_ ’s stopped; he’s curled up and hugging his knees in a corner of the cockpit.  Swallowing hard, he pushes himself to his feet and pretends to ignore the way he sways slightly.

“You all right?”

“Ye- yeah,” he mumbles, nodding.  He’s still trembling, but for some reason it doesn’t matter as much to him as it probably should.

Hera puts the back of her hand to his forehead and he forces himself to still.  He’s not a hundred percent sure what it means, only that Kanan’s generally the one to do it to him, and only when he’s been more tired than usual.

“We should get back to the _Ghost,_ ” she says quietly.  “Come on.” Ezra follows her back into the freighter in silence, stopping at the common room.  Sabine and Zeb are locked in an intense battle of dejarik while Kanan watches from nearby, leaning against the wall.  When he hears Hera and Ezra enter he turns, frowning slightly at the sight of the boy. He approaches quickly and Hera takes a step to the side.

“He feels warm for a human and he kind of...was out of it on the way back.”  Kanan nods, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You okay, kid?”

“Yeah,” he responds in a quiet voice, shifting his weight.

“You need to go lay down or anything?”

Ezra shrugs before nodding.  “I guess….”

“Alright.  Go lay down then.  If you miss anything, Hera or I will let you know.”

He nods again before slipping out of the room and heading into his cabin, clambering up onto the bunk and laying down without bothering to get underneath the blankets.  He stares blankly at the ceiling, trying to forget everything that happened before he met Kanan.

As usual, it doesn’t work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Ezra just has bad days and has more flashbacks than usual....


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> his wings are clipped and his feet are tied   
> so he opens his throat to sing.  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan is a completely clueless dork but we love him anyway, Sabine is...somewhere, and Ezra has a Dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Child Abadonment, Restraints, Implied/Referenced Non-Consensual Drug Use by a Minor, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Needles

He’s helping Kanan sort through the medkit when Chopper rolls in, shrieking loudly and announcing the need for an oil bath.  Kanan glances up, raising an eyebrow.

“Why?”  The droid gives a furious trill, jabbing Kanan’s leg with a manipulator as Ezra watches warily.  The man rolls his eyes, nudging the droid back with his knee. “What, so just because I made an offhand comment to Sabine the other day—”  He’s cut off by the droid again and sighs, shaking his head and standing. “Alright, fine, I’ll go get the stuff, okay?” Satisfied, Chopper gives a mellow beep as Kanan rolls his eyes again.

Ezra’s gaze follows the man out before returning to the medkit, digging out the third bandage roll and setting it with the other two.  Chopper rolls over to the edge of the dejarik table and stops, dome swiveling to look at what the teenager is doing. The astromech beeps a query and Ezra glances up, shrugging before dropping his gaze again.

After another ten minutes, Kanan returns, expression irritated.  Ezra can’t prevent an involuntary flinch away from the man.

“Did you find it?”

Kanan shakes his head.  “Nope.” Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair, removing the hair tie and retying it.  “I’ll have to run into town if I want to avoid the murderbot here killing me in my sleep.”  Chopper chortles smugly, causing Kanan to shoot him a dirty look.

“I need to run a few errands, too,” Hera announces, entering the common room.  “We can go together.” Chopper chortles again and Kanan shrugs, ignoring the droid.

“Sure.  You got a speeder?”

She nods.  “I’ll go get it.  Meet you outside at 1300?”

“Yeah.  Ezra and I’ll just finish up here.”  She nods again and exits, leaving Kanan staring after her and Ezra with a growing smirk.  Kanan finally breaks his gaze away and turns in time to see Ezra trying to stifle the smile, and raises an eyebrow in question.  “What?”

The teenager finally manages to get his expression under control and shrugs, ducking his head as another smile slips out.  “Nothing.” If Kanan can’t tell what’s going on, then he’ll leave him to it. It’s honestly slightly funny, and besides, that way he won’t get in trouble for assuming something.  Out loud, at least.

* * *

“ _ Chopper! _ ”

The droid zips back inside, nearly knocking Hera over as he chortles.  Kanan sighs, rubbing his temples as he forces a tired smile onto his face at the sight of her.

“What was that about?” she asks, slightly amused.  He shrugs.

“Karking droid messed with my speeder, and the other one still needs to be fixed from a run a while ago, I just haven’t had a chance to yet.”  He runs a hand through his hair. “And it’ll take a few hours to fix too.”

“You can ride with me if you want.  I’d let you borrow Zeb’s, but that’s actually another one of the reasons I’m going.  The engine’s been acting up on his the past couple ops, so I was planning on getting a new piston and seeing if that’d help.”

He nods.  “Ye- yeah, that’d be great.  Thanks.” She nods, gesturing for him to follow.  He obeys as she leads him back over to her speeder, swinging a leg over as he follows suit.  Kanan starts to wrap a hesitant hand around her waist as she starts the bike but she clears her throat and he quickly withdraws.

“Maybe you’d better—”

“Yeah maybe I should—”

They dismount at the same time and run into each other, Kanan’s face turning darker by the minute.  He swings a leg back over, this time in the front, and clears his throat as Hera follows suit behind him and loops her arms loosely around him.

“Sorry.”

She chuckles quietly.  “It’s fine.”

He guns the engine, heading toward Capital City.  As they speed through the grasslands, he thinks he feels her grip tightening with a glacial slowness, but he dismisses it as simply being hyper-aware of her proximity to him.  Still, he thinks, if he  _ isn’t _ imagining it, he wouldn’t  _ dis _ like it.  But it’s not like that’s happening.  It’s not.

They reach the city after only about half an hour and he slows the bike to a crawl as they progress through the streets.  He glances back at her in question.

“You actually know the city, so are you okay if I just stick with you for a while?  I can get my list done after, or if not—”

“No, we– we can.  We can stick together, I mean.  Maybe just go through and then whoever’s thing comes up, we can do that.”  She makes a sound of agreement and he glances over to the right side of the street.

As they move through the city, he notices more ‘troopers than usual.

_ “I’m so, so proud of you, you know that?” Depa murmurs.  “Now. Caleb.  _ Run. _ ” _

He shakes his head to rid himself of the memories as he slows the bike to a stop outside a mechanic, glancing back at Hera.  “I’ll just be a minute, gotta run in and grab Chopper’s stuff.” She nods and he shuts the bike off, dismounting as she follows suit.

“I’ll check if they’ve got the right kind of pistons in here too.  Then we don’t have to stop later.” He nods and moves the speeder over to the side of the building before heading inside, followed by Hera.

* * *

They finish the rest of their errands relatively quickly, and with each stop they make, Kanan grows more and more uncomfortable with the amount of stormtroopers he sights.  Swallowing thickly, he pulls the speeder to a stop outside one of the many small shops he’s often looked at but never gone in. Hera gives him a confused look as he dismounts.

“I thought you said that was your last one.”

“Yeah, I just remembered there was something Ezra mentioned.  It’ll be quick, then we can go.” She nods and he hurries inside, glancing around before spotting the item.

He exits the shop shortly after, handing her a small paper bag.  “Ezra said that I– said I should get it for you,” he adds in explanation, rubbing the back of his neck as he gets back on the bike.  She opens the bag, smiling as she pulls out a dark red flower.

“Kanan, this– it’s—”

“Yeah,” he mumbles, face heating up again.  “Uh...yeah.” She suppresses a slight chuckle and his face only heats up further.  Clearing his throat, he forces himself to turn back around. “We...should get going.”

“Sounds like a plan.”  He guns the engine, guiding the bike back into the traffic as Hera settles her arms loosely around him again.

He tries not to focus on it, instead forcing himself to pay more attention to the growing number of ‘troopers he sees at each intersection, but it’s hard.  Eventually they reach the edge of the town. He slows the speeder again, cursing softly.

A walker and two large transports block the main road out, and it isn’t too far of a leap to assume there’s similar obstacles at each of the other exits.  Swallowing, he glances back at Hera.

“After that run you and Zeb...intercepted….I think it might be better to wait a while before showing my face again.”

She nods in understanding, shifting and nodding to the walker.  “Why do they need a blockade like  _ that? _  Who are they expecting?”

“I’m...not sure.”

He swallows, starting to turn the speeder around when a shout stops him in his tracks.  Out of the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of one of the nearby pairs of ‘troopers approaching.  He turns around to face them.   
“What are you doing here?  This is a restricted area!”

He feels the sudden weight of Hera’s head on his shoulder and he forces himself to keep his expression neutral.

“Matthias, why are we going this way?  You said we were staying over the night,” she mumbles, voice suddenly drowsy.  He catches onto her strategy quickly, turning to her and forcing a smile onto his face that manages to cover the anxiety coursing through him at the moment.

“Yeah, I’m sorry sweetheart, I must have taken a wrong turn back there.”

“Mhmm.  Just let’s go, soon…” she trails off tiredly, subtly tightening her grip on his waist, though she makes sure to do it enough to where the ‘troopers can see.  He nods.

“Alright, just move along.  This isn’t a civilian area,” the other ‘trooper concedes, gesturing with his blaster.  Kanan nods gratefully, pivoting the speeder and gunning the engine.

Dusk has already started to fall when he’s getting used to the weight of her head on his shoulder, and of course it’s then that she removes it.  Her grip remains somewhat firm, however, and he doesn’t complain.

“Alright, so if we can’t get out until morning at the least, what are we doing for now?” Hera asks.  “I’ll go ahead and comm the kids so they’ll know we got held up.”

He thinks hard for a minute before an idea comes.  Nodding slowly, he responds, “I think I know a place….”

* * *

_ The halls of the  _ Ghost _ are dark, and the ship feels unnaturally cold, almost as if they dimmed the power—and by extension, the lighting and climate control systems—to save fuel while out on a run.  He shivers, hugging himself and glancing around. _

_ There’s a noise. _

_ “Kanan?” _

_ He stands still, not cold anymore as he sees a shadow approach.  He can’t tell what it is, but its unfamiliarity holds him frozen in morbid fascination. _

_ “Kanan?” he repeats as the shadow draws closer.  There’s still no response, but the shadow continues to advance. _

_ “You lost me a lot of credits today, boy.” _

_ He gulps at the voice, glancing behind him and upwards.  “I- I’m not afraid of you anymore, Dolsher.” _

_ There’s a chuckle that sounds from everywhere around him, just like the voice.  “You should be.” _

_ He swallows, turning to the shadow again—and realizes that it’s now the size of a normal person, just a very  _ tall _ person. _

_ Wearing boots. _

_ The footsteps clunk on the ground, coming towards him with an ominous intensity that makes something curl in his stomach. _

_ “Who– who are you?!” he yells bravely, swallowing again.  The source of the footsteps and shadow turns the corner. _

_ A squadron of stormtroopers, suddenly all a million feet taller than him.  It’s raining on the  _ Ghost _ now, too, and he shivers, cold. _

_ “Ezra.” _

_ He whirls at Kanan’s voice, almost crying in relief as he bolts to the man and clings to him.  Kanan stares down at him with what almost looks like disgust. His hug isn’t returned. _

_ Swallowing, he starts to plead.  “P– please, he– help, there’s– there’s a bunch of ‘troo– ‘troopers—” _

_ “I know,” Kanan replies stoically.  He stills, the stony expression on Kanan’s face making him uneasy.  He takes a step back. _

_ “Kanan?” _

_ The stormtroopers reach them, somehow no taller than Kanan but still impossibly taller than him, despite the height difference of only a foot or so between him and his mentor.  The man draws his lightsaber and ignites it, the cerulean blade sizzling in the rain. _

_ “Hand over the boy,” they say as one. _

_ “K– Kanan, please—” _

_ “He’s yours.” _

_ The answer comes without hesitation and he’s left in shock, staring after the man as he detaches himself from the teenager and walks away, sheathing his lightsaber and holding the hilt loosely in his hand. _

_ “K– Kanan—” _

_ He doesn’t realize he’s stretching a hand out after the retreating figure until a stormtrooper is pulling it back, pinning it with his other arm behind his back as another snaps cuffs on him.  He struggles, voice suddenly gone as he squirms. The ‘troopers don’t react, instead just grabbing his shoulder and turning him forcibly. _

_ Instead of the common room of the  _ Ghost _ ahead of him, he’s now facing a sterile, too-bright lab.  His eyes widen as he looks around, gulping. _

_ They light on the table in the center and suddenly he’s struggling, pleading and unable to turn around as the ‘troopers push him toward it.  He’s hefted onto it as if he weighs no more than a bag of meilooruns, and they strap down his arms and legs without any resistance—he finds he can’t move, can’t move even as he stares up into the bright light above as they slowly raise the table, and now he’s facing the interior of an Imperial cell. _

_ Dolsher’s voice echoes around him again as he wriggles, trying to get away from the approaching needle courtesy of a circular droid he’s seen but can’t remember. _

_ “This is just training...for the future.” _

_ The needle pierces his skin, and he screams. _

He wakes in a cold sweat, breath coming in heavy gasps as he shoots straight up in bed and stares around the room.

Small.  Gray. A bunk on the  _ Ghost. _ _ His _ bunk on the  _ Ghost. _

Throwing his senses out into his immediate surroundings with wild abandon, he realizes he can’t sense Kanan.

He stumbles out of the bunk, tripping on the sheets and nearly falling to the ground.  There’s a noise behind and off to the side of him, something that sounds like a warbling beep.  It’s not Kanan, whatever it is, something’s wrong and Kanan’s left him here because he’s leaving him or maybe someone took him—

Without thinking, he shoves a hand out to the side, his efforts rewarded with the  _ screech _ of metal on metal as something large skids across the floor and slams into the wall before tumbling to the ground.  Pushing hair out of his eyes, he stumbles out of the room and to the ‘fresher, barely making it to the toilet in time before he throws up.

He slides to the ground in the corner once the contents of his stomach are gone, hugs his knees to his chest, and cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I love this chapter for many reasons; 1, fake dating while on a real date is !!! my THING !!! specifically Kanera fake dating!!; 2, Kanan’s such a dork he can’t realize what’s going on but Ezra can and ahhhh I love it; 3, it’s twice the length of my normal chapters (or at least the word count target for them); 4, I’m actually happy with that dream sequence at the end; and 5, I’ve rewritten this chapter about three times now? I’m not sure.
> 
> If any of you guys have read the story I’m working on with starwarsezra, Between, you’ll probably recognize bits of that dream sequence as aspects of it are taken from Ezra’s visions in the Lothal Temple in that fic ;) You guys should definitely check it out!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But a bird that stalks  
> down his narrow cage  
> can seldom see through  
> his bars of rage  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan’s Not On A Date, Sabine really really likes space coffee, and Ezra is in a Bad Mood.

A loud knock on the door makes him jump, heart leaping into his throat as his head pops up.

“Ezra?  I need to use the ‘fresher,” Sabine’s muffled voice calls.  He swallows, shifting and getting to his feet with a wince. He must have been hugging his knees tighter than he thought; Ezra barely manages to prevent himself from gasping as they begin cramping up.

He pauses to glance in the mirror, scrubbing at his face with a sleeve before opening the door and slipping out as Sabine enters.  He almost starts heading to the galley, but thinks better of it and hesitates outside the ‘fresher.

“Hey Sabine, where’d Kanan and Hera go?”

“They commed last night after you were already asleep and said they got held up by a blockade or something.  I don’t remember if they said when they’d be back.”

He nods, calling a quick “thanks” over his shoulder as he heads to the galley.  Entering, he gives Chopper a brief glance before crossing to one of the cupboards and opening it, pulling out a mug.

The droid trills inquisitively and approaches, nudging his leg.  He glances down, brow furrowed. “You know I can’t understand most of that.”  Chopper makes a disgruntled sound that reminds him of a sigh and rolls away, grumbling.  Ezra shrugs, closing the cupboard and filling the cup with water as Sabine enters.

“I think we have some caf ready to start if you want any,” she offers, starting the machine up herself.  He shrugs again.

“Kanan said it makes my nightmares worse.”

“Well Kanan’s not here.  And you’re not asleep.”

“Still.”  He climbs onto the counter and sips from the mug, watching Sabine lean against the counter a few feet away as she watches the caf.

“Zeb and I were gonna test some of the new explosives I made last week if you wanted to come and watch.”  He mulls it over, drinking again.

“Didn’t Kanan say not to make more?”

“Well it’s not like he’s my dad or anything,” she scoffs, clicking the machine off.  “He can’t make me.” She grabs a cup and starts filling it as Ezra replies.

“He could kick you off the ship.”

Sabine snorts into her drink.  “You honestly think that? Neither of you can slice to save your lives, and you two don’t know the Empire and how to avoid it like I do either.  He  _ needs _ me.”

“You also broke your leg.”

“And?”

“ _ And _ that means it’s a bad id—“

“I can hear you two arguing all the way from the  _ Phantom, _ ” Zeb mutters as he enters, scratching the back of his head.  “Louder than a litter o’ tooka kits.”

“Well then it’s a good thing we aren’t.”  Sabine raises her mug to her lips again and gestures to the caf machine.  Nodding, Zeb approaches it.

“Where are you testing them?” he asks Sabine as Zeb gets a caf.  She shrugs.

“I dunno.  Wherever we find a clear spot, I guess.”  She shrugs. “You could help us pick.”

“I’d rather stay on the ship, thanks.”

“Why don’t you ever leave it anyway?  All the rest of us do. Even  _ Chopper _ leaves more than you do.”  He stiffens slightly, grip on the cup tightening as Sabine continues, oblivious to his sudden anxiety.  “It’s not like we’re on Coruscant or anything.”

“I...just don’t like being outside.  Not here.” He tries to laugh it off, taking another drink.

“Sure you do.  You're always the first one out when there’s Loth-cats around.”

“I just  _ don’t want to, _ okay Sabine?”

“‘Kay, sorry.  Didn’t realize a lack of Vitamin D was that big an issue for you,” she responds, setting her mug on the counter and raising her hands defensively.  He shifts, shoulders inching upwards as he hesitantly takes another sip.

“If you kits’ll stop arguing, then maybe we could actually get on with our day,” Zeb grumbles.  Sighing, Sabine drains the rest of her caf and sets the mug in the sink.

“I’m gonna go grab the stuff, I’ll meet you in the cargo bay in five?” she checks with Zeb.  The man nods, and she goes to leave the galley. Poking her head back in, she calls to Ezra, “Chopper wanted to talk to you, by the way.”

He sighs.  “Can’t even understand the kriffin’ droid,” he mutters as she leaves again.

He feels Zeb’s eyes on him as he sips from the cup again.  “Didn’t think I’d ever hear a kit say that, ‘specially you,” the man says.  Ezra shrugs.

“Well, I just did.”

He snorts, knocking back the rest of his cup of caf.  “Didn’t say it was a bad thing either, kit. You in a bad mood?”

“No, I’m just kriffin’  _ great, _ ” Ezra mutters, rolling his eyes.  “Kriffin’  _ great. _ ”

“Well, when Kanan an’ Hera get back, try ‘karabast,’” he suggests, setting the mug in the sink near Sabine’s and clapping a large hand on Ezra’s shoulder as he walks by.  “Don’t think Kanan’d like you sayin’ kriff, even if karabast means the same thing.”

“He doesn’t care.”  Ezra knows he doesn’t because the first time he’d used the expletive had been only about a month after Kanan had found him, and the man hadn’t done anything beyond raising an eyebrow.

“Hera might.”

“She’s not my boss.”

“Just givin’ you a suggestion, don’t take it the wrong way.  Personally, I don’t care either way.” Zeb shrugs and leaves, abandoning Ezra to his thoughts as he takes another sip of the water.

In all honesty, he doesn’t know  _ why _ he’s in such a bad mood.  Maybe it’s the fact that Kanan's gone, or it’s the faint tugging at the back of his mind that’s ever present when they’re on Lothal.  Or just the unreachable remnants of his nightmare. He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care.

He puts the mug in the sink and hops off the counter, heading to Kanan’s cabin.  The man had told Ezra he was welcome to try his holocron whenever he had time to, and seeing that he isn’t keen on leaving the ship anytime soon— _ especially _ not that Kanan is gone—he decides to do just that.  Ezra slips in and immediately crosses to the drawer under his mentor’s bunk, kneeling and opening it before extracting the small cube.  He rocks back on his heels, studying it before sliding the drawer back in and heading out to the top gun turret. He climbs up and perches in the seat, crossing his legs and closing his eyes as he opens the cube.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, updating on my normal update day? It’s more likely than you might think.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and dips his wing  
> in the orange sun rays  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan comes home from what is definitely Not A Date, Sabine may/may not be grounded for a year, and Ezra really shouldn’t be left alone for extended periods of time.

Kanan isn’t sure what wakes him, not exactly, but he feels someone leaning on him.

His first thought is Ezra, but no; the boy’s a lot thinner and smaller—and shorter—than whoever _this_ is.  Cracking open an eye, he glances down at his side, nearly jolting in surprise at the sight of Hera.  She’s nestled into him, leaning more on him than on the wall he’s leaning against— _Force_ he regrets falling asleep against a wall, and it’s not the first time either—her face peaceful and the most innocent-looking he’s ever seen it.

Smiling faintly, he studies her before realizing her blaster pistol is still in its holster, and digging into her side with the angle she’s at.

He frowns, trying to figure out how to move it so she’s more comfortable without waking her.  Swallowing, he reaches out into the Force, carefully nudging it out of the way. As it scrapes along the floor she stirs and he stops, watching her nose scrunch up briefly before she relaxes again.  He begins moving the blaster again, taking it as slow as possible until she shifts again, mumbling something.

At the rate this is going, he might be better off just waking her up.

He lifts his wrist, checking his chronometer and rubbing his temples.  It’s after dawn; the light peeking through the windows across the room show that well enough, but the chronometer indicates it’s still too early to be out without the stormtroopers suspecting anything.

He goes back to sleep.

* * *

When he wakes again, Hera’s stirring more, eyes and nose both scrunched up now as she mutters something.  He shifts slightly in an attempt to ease the cramping in his leg, and her hand twitches, making him stop. Kanan watches her carefully, but then he realizes she’s waking up anyway, and maybe it’d be better if he was still asleep or at least acting like it.  He closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall again as she stirs more.

Finally she mumbles something in Twi’leki particularly loud and groans.  A weight suddenly leaves his leg and he sniffs, shifting in what he hopes is a natural way for someone still asleep.

“Kanan?”

He hums drowsily, only blinking his eyes open when she repeats his name.  He offers a tired smile.

“Hey.”

“What time is it?”

He glances at the chronometer, clearing his throat as she sits up fully to lean against the wall next to him.  “It’s 0800. We might have a chance getting out of the city now.” She nods, and he casts her a sidelong glance.  “Tired?” he inquires with a grin.

She grunts in answer and pushes herself to her feet, glancing around the room.  “Where’d we stop again?”

“Ezra’s parents’.  Said he used to live here before the slavers found him.”

“Mhm.”

He follows her gaze as she studies the room, marveling once again at the fragments of his Padawan that he finds.  A color stick scribble on the wall half-hidden behind a chair. A dust-covered Loth-cat doll. A piece of flimsi previously hung up but now deteriorating on the counter that reads _Ezra_ in a child’s clumsy scrawl.

These are the things his Padawan once was, and these are the things he will be no more.

“We should go,” he says, clearing his throat.  Hera nods absently.

“Alright.  Is the speeder still…?”

“Yeah, I’ll bring it out.”

He goes to the speeder bike sitting against the wall, moving it to the door and pushing it open; the keypad hasn’t had enough use in years and he doubts it works.  Once outside, he waits until Hera exits and pushes the door shut behind them before starting the bike. She sits behind him and he guns the engines once he feels her hands settling lightly around his waist.

He takes back streets as they head toward the blockade, unsure how much security will be present in the main part of the city now that it’s morning.  When he reaches the edge of the city, however, he slows the speeder and eases it into the traffic of the main road.

There’s less transports than normal today, and he can spot two groups of Imperials—a pair of stormtroopers walking down the far side of the street and a transport quietly going down the exact middle of the main road—within two hundred meters.  Sighing, he feels Hera’s grip on him tighten slightly in acknowledgement of the threats.

Still, they need to get out of here.

He guns the engine again as the road clears slightly in the approach to the blockade.  Slowing to a stop just in front of the remaining ‘trooper pair, he raises an eyebrow.

“Are we clear to leave?”

“Transport identification?”  Kanan turns to Hera, who fishes in her pocket for the datachip and passes it up.  The ‘trooper scans it on a datapad, studying it for a moment before nodding and handing it back.

“Cleared.”

“Thanks,” he drawls.  Hera returns the chip to her pocket and the ‘troopers step back, allowing him to gun the bike again.  He weaves past the transport and out of the city, smiling to himself upon sighting the lack of traffic on the highway.

He pushes the speeder more, eager to put distance between them and Capital City.  Hera’s hold tightens more and his smile widens.

* * *

Kanan thinks they’re about half a klick away when they see the explosion.

He slows the speeder to a stop and Hera raises her head from his shoulder.  The resulting cloud of dust is...burgundy?

“What in the name of the Mother…?” Hera breathes.

It takes him a moment to place it, but when he does, Kanan lets out a groan of frustration.

“What’s wrong?  Do you know what caused that?”

“I think so.”  Sighing, he guns the speeder.

To his extreme relief, they meet Sabine, Zeb, and Chopper far enough away from the _Ghost_ that the loading ramp seems only big enough for the latter.  Sabine looks up as they come, a multitude of expressions crossing her face before she settles on an uneasy smile.  She and Zeb approach while Chopper remains by the crate, warbling negatively. Kanan leaves the speeder running as he and Hera dismount, the man striding directly to Sabine.

“Care to explain what _that_ was?”

“Zeb and Chopper are helping me test the new explosives!  It was their idea, mostly his,” she adds, nodding to the droid.  The astromech shrieks, shock prod popping out threateningly. Sabine doesn’t even flinch.

“The explosives that I _explicitly_ told you _not_ to test?”

“Well _someone_ needed to make sure—“

“Zeb, where’s Ezra?”

Hera’s question cuts through their conversation like a vibroblade through butter and Kanan turns to the other man, uncertainty flashing in his eyes.

“He said he wanted to stay on the _Ghost—_ “

Chopper interrupts, beeping shrilly.  Kanan turns to the astromech incredulously.  “What do you _mean_ you tried to tell them?!  Tried to tell them _what?!_ ”  The droid beeps again, gesturing toward the ship with a manipulator as Sabine tries to defend her choice of time wasting activity.  “Speeders? What do you mean, speeders? We just took Hera’s—“

Chopper shrieks loud enough to silence them all, and it’s then that Kanan hears the low _thrum-thrum-thrumm_ ing of several landspeeders.  He and the rest of the group turn toward the _Ghost_ at the same time, watching as a trio of speeders leave.

They have four riders, one of which looks like they're either unconscious or asleep.

_Ezra._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m going to start posting a chapter on Fridays too; I want to have the full thing posted before May 4th so....


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in the orange sun rays  
> and dares to claim the sky.  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan has never been more stressed in his life, Sabine is too far away to help, and Ezra uses his teachings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Car Accident (well the Star Wars equivalent of one I suppose), Kidnapping, Limb Trauma (non-graphic)

He can feel the stun charge beginning to wear off.

His breathing is still too shallow, and at the moment he can’t move much more than his eyes and now-cuffed hands as he watches the _Ghost_ retreat behind him.  The human sitting in the pilot’s seat, the one actually driving the speeder while Ezra himself is cuffed loosely— _but not loosely enough,_ he thinks irritably—to the locking mechanism on the side of it, shoots a glance back at him and pulls his binders forward slightly.  He cries out as the wound in his side is jostled, but the man simply turns back around and pushes the speeder faster.

Closing his eyes, he tries to open his bond with Kanan.  The tie is there, but muted from Kanan’s end like normal.  Swallowing, he tries to send more than just his raw panic through.   _Kanan I’m here Kanan please they took me Kanan Kanan Kanan_ please _I promise I won’t do it again Kanan I’ll be more careful please just—_

_I’m coming._

The simple assurance settles his racing mind enough for him to inhale shakily and begin to take stock of the situation.  Okay. Binders. Said binders cuffed to the locking mechanism on the door, and something he can’t lift his head enough to see doing the same to his legs on the floor of the small transport.  Okay. He can do this. Now.

What has Kanan taught him that’ll be useful?

He knows immediately.

Furrowing his brow, he stretches his hands out as far as he can in the binders, fighting against the dwindling effects of the stun bolt.  He splays his fingers in a sudden movement that goes a moment without a reaction.

And then the reaction comes.

The other two speeders upend dramatically, one doing a complete 360 before slamming back into the ground.  The other thuds onto its side, its rider shouting a cry of alarm as his leg is pinned underneath. Ezra flicks his hand again, bracing himself as his own landspeeder flies into the air before hitting the ground again, this time on its side.  The man next to him jumps off just in time to avoid getting pinned underneath it, but Ezra is unable to avoid it and screams as he’s tossed into the air, jerked by the short chain and binders before he hits the ground again. The metal follows suit almost immediately afterward, smashing into the earth around him and pinning his leg under.

He screams again.

Breathing heavily as tears well up in his eyes, he forces himself to sit up, screaming again as his leg protests.  He barely feels the lingering effects of the stun charge now as he looks above the grass, scanning the area until he spots the man who had driven the speeder he was on stumbling toward the less wrecked of the two bikes, checking its rider before pushing it back upright and jumping on.  He glances back before gunning the engine, speeding off through the grass as Ezra allows himself to slump back to the ground, squeezing his eyes shut in pain.

_Kanan…._

* * *

Kanan jerks the speeder to a stop by the wreckage, not waiting until it stops before jumping off and sprinting to where he can sense his Padawan.  He can’t see anything beyond the smoke through the tall grass, and the sharp pains throbbing weakly through their bond are the only things letting him know the kid is still alive.  He stops, scanning the area. “Ezra?”

No reply.

He can’t even hear any whimpers, either.

Swallowing hard, he pivots slowly, once again getting the urge to check the source of the smoke.  He listens.

He stops about a foot away from the smoke, coughing and trying to see through it.  At first, he can only make out the vague shape of a speeder, but then—

Ezra.

He rushes forward, coughing again and pulling up his sweater to cover his mouth and nose as he assesses the situation.  The landspeeder is on top of Ezra’s right leg, starting halfway up the shin and covering the rest of his leg completely.  He frowns.

Concentrating, he closes his eyes and raises his free hand, pushing the Force toward the speeder and encouraging it to lift it off of the boy.  It’s halfway off when he feels resistance and, opening his eyes, realizes the problem—Ezra’s cuffed to it in two places. He sets the speeder down as far from Ezra as he can, though it teeters.  Sucking in a breath, he keeps his hand extended, keeping the transport steady with the Force as he extends the other and feels for the locking mechanisms of the cuffs. He undoes them quickly, exhaling as he drops his hand and raises the other, the speeder with it.

As soon as it’s high enough, he raises the hand he used to undo the binders again, using the Force to shove it a few meters away as he kneels next to Ezra, barely noticing as his sweater falls back down.

“Kid?  You okay?”

He doesn’t react.

The shallow rise and fall of the kid’s chest is barely enough to assuage Kanan’s worries, but it’ll have to do.  Swallowing, he picks the kid up and tries to ignore the way his own lungs itch from the smoke. Ezra’s been in it longer, and he’s getting Ezra out.  He needs to focus on that, and _only_ on that.

As he’s carrying Ezra’s limp body out of the smoke, the others are finally arriving—or at least, Hera and Chopper are.  Squinting against the vapor, he can see the faint figures of Zeb and Sabine approaching as well.

“Is he—?”

“He’s alive.” Kanan answers.  “But he’s not good.” Hera nods, tattooed-on brows drawn together as she purses her lips in concern.  “Smoke inhalation, and the speeder fell on him. There’s damage, but I can’t be sure how much until I get him back on the _Ghost_ and he wakes up.”

Wordlessly, he walks past her to his speeder bike, sighing in frustration and running a hand through his hair when he realizes there’s nowhere to put the kid on while he’s out of commission.  He turns to Chopper. “Go get the _Ghost._  I don’t want to risk hurting him worse by just carrying him the whole time.”  The astromech doesn’t grumble for once, only turning and preparing to fire his thrusters when Hera clears her throat.

“No, the _Phantom._  It’ll be faster.”  The droid chirps, hesitating a moment longer before leaving.  Sighing, Kanan carefully lays Ezra down in the grass and sits next to him with crossed legs, elbows on his knees as he bites his lip and twists his hands together.

“Can’t you use the Force or something?” Hera asks worriedly.  He shakes his head.

“Not without knowing exactly what the damage is.  He needs to be coherent for that. And I’ve already used it enough today.”  He sighs again, closing his eyes.

“It’ll be all right, love.”  Hera’s warm hand rests lightly on his shoulder and he leans into her touch, eyes remaining closed.

If only he could believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had my EOC for American Lit today so that's why this is a bit later than usual but you know :))


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams  
> his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan is not a licensed surgeon, Sabine is Somewhere Else which is surprising considering that the drama is partially her fault, and Ezra is hardcore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Amputation, Mention of Car Accident (or the Star Wars Equivalent), Limb Trauma (non-graphic)

“Hey.”

The kid blinks, swallowing hoarsely as he opens his eyes and sits up. “K- Kanan?”

“Hey kid.”  He smiles, reaching a hand out to the boy’s and squeezing it lightly.  Ezra returns the smile and squeeze faintly before swallowing again, looking around.

“Where’s...where are….”

“They’re gone, Ezra.”  He nods tiredly, laying back down.  “I have a question, though. Can you feel your leg?”

He sits up again, blinking in confusion.  “What?”

“Can you feel your leg?  Your right one.” Frowning in confusion, the boy tries to move his right leg slightly.  His expression grows panicked when there’s no movement under the blanket and he glances up at Kanan again, eyes wide with terror and confusion.

“Kanan– Kanan I can’t– I can’t—“

“Ezra.  Breathe.  It’s okay.”

“But Kanan I can't—“

“I know.  I just wanted to make sure before….”  He swallows, glancing over at his lightsaber lying only a few inches from his hand.

Following his gaze, Ezra swallows.  “Why?”

“I...how much do you remember?”

“I remember...there were people, on- on the  _ Ghost, _ and they...they….”  Trembling, he curls in on himself.

“They took you.  I was coming, Ezra, I  _ promise. _  But by the time I’d gotten down….”

“I made everyone crash.”  The boy’s breath catches and he looks up, lower lip trembling as he likely fights off the urge to cry.  “Kanan?”

“Yeah?”

“Does that- does that mean I’m a bad person?”

“What?  No, Ezra.  You’re not.”

“But you said—“

“You were  _ defending _ yourself, kid.  You’re not a bad person.  You had no choice.”

“I could’ve just not done anything.”

Kanan smiles sadly.  “And let them take you?”

He falls silent, dropping Kanan’s gaze to look at the blanket.  He picks at it absently. “The speeder fell on me, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Did- did it…?”

Kanan nods, sucking in a breath.  “Yep.” He can tell the discomfort the kid’s feeling; it’s as visible on his face as the dark hair plastered to his forehead as his body fights against the oncoming infection.

That’s what makes up his mind for him.

“Kid, look.”  Ezra looks up again.  He sighs. “Your leg, it’s...the speeder hit it pretty hard.  You’ve been out for about 36 hours now. It...it’s gonna get infected.  You’ve already got a slight fever. We can’t keep something that big from getting infected further.”  The kid’s brow furrows in confusion. “We’re gonna have to amputate.”

His breath catches before suddenly coming faster until he’s almost hyperventilating.  “I- I can’t go to a med center, Kanan, I can’t– they’ll- they’ll find me and- and they got rid of my- of my documentation when they go- got on the  _ Ghost _ and then- then Dolsher—“

“Relax, kid.  I wasn’t planning on it.”  Kanan clears his throat and gestures to his lightsaber.  “I...wanted to make sure before I did anything.”

“O- okay.”  The kid eyes the ‘saber warily, and his heart clenches.

“Here, take these.”

Ezra scrunches up his nose, shaking his head.  “No.”

“Wh—“

“No more drugs.”

“It’s just a sedative, so you’ll be out while I—“

“ _ No. _  I don’t want any.”

“We don’t have painkillers left—“

“I’ll be fine.”  The ferocity in the boy’s eyes is something Kanan never saw the first year the kid was with him, but it’s become more and more commonplace the longer Ezra’s been on the  _ Ghost. _  “I’ve dealt with harder stuff.”

“I don’t think there’s a whole lot worse than getting something cut off with a lightsaber,” Kanan remarks dryly.  At the look in the boy’s eyes afterward, he immediately regrets the comment.

“There is.   _ Trust me, _ Kanan.  I- I can handle it.”

“At least...here, hold on.”  He stands, leaving the kid’s cabin and heading across to the ‘fresher.  He opens the cabinet below the sink, retrieving a towel and returning to Ezra’s bunk.  He hands it to the boy. “Bite on that. And...don’t look at your leg.”

The boy nods, accepting it and putting it in his mouth.  Kanan moves the blanket up, uncovering the teen’s leg, and Ezra squeezes his eyes shut.  “Do you want me to tell you when?”

The kid shakes his head, muttering a muffled answer in the negative.  Kanan nods, picking up his ‘saber. He ignites it, breathing deeply as he studies the cerulean blade before his gaze shifts to his Padawan.  The kid is sending off waves of terror, but still trying to keep his expression calm. He finds it hard to believe that this is the same child who was so broken when they met that he flinched at every noise and unexpected movement and refused to say anything more than was asked.

And now this boy trusts him with his  _ life. _

_ Just get it over with already. _

Swallowing, he brings the lightsaber down.

* * *

Kanan massages his temples, staring unseeing at the datapad in front of him.  Potential job offers on one of the underground networks, and all of which he’s already filtered through.  Now it’s just a matter of deciding which one  _ specifically. _

But he keeps seeing the boy’s leg, his ‘saber cutting into it, hearing his  _ screams— _

No.  The kid’s trying to sleep it off now.  He’ll be fine.

Considering Kanan can find someone willing to give him a socket and a prosthetic.

He places his elbows on the edge of the dejarik table, burying his face in his hands with a heavy sigh.  If he and Hera had just left Capital City earlier, if he had found a way to get them out  _ that night _ instead of waiting twelve kriffing  _ hours, _ if he had just stopped being such a karking _ romantic _ and woken her up when he first had, then maybe he could’ve avoided all of this.  And now here he is, with  _ Ezra _ paying the price.

The kid’s already gone through too much.

Voices from the cargo bay below filter through the floor and he finds himself absently overhearing.  It sounds like Zeb and Hera, though he hasn’t seen Sabine or Chopper since they got Ezra back on board either, so for all he knows they could be there as well.

“So Hera, why’d you call ‘im ‘love?’”

He racks his brain, trying to remember.  She had right after he’d cut Ezra loose from the wreckage; had she done so later, too?  Maybe. He doesn’t remember. The last day and a half has been a blur.

Her response comes slowly, hesitantly.  “It...just seemed natural.” A faint smile slips onto his face as he lifts his head, running a hand over his face.

At least one of them knows what she’s doing.  Personally?

Kanan doesn’t think he’ll  _ ever _ know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone please help Kanan the guy deserves a break.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The free bird thinks of another breeze  
> and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan is happy, Sabine is happy, and Ezra is happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mention of Leg Trauma (non-graphic)

There’s a quiet knock on his door and Ezra blinks and lifts his head, calling out quietly.  “Come in.”

The door slides open and Sabine pokes her head in, glancing briefly around the room before slipping inside as the door shuts behind her.  She approaches, taking the chair Kanan had left near his bunk and sitting.

“Did you need something?”

“Not really, just wanted to check on you.”  She shrugs, studying him carefully. “We can be leg buddies now, I guess.”

He snorts, rolling his eyes.  “Emphasis on the singular.” She cracks a slight smile, brushing hair out of her eyes.

“Chopper said he was trying to talk to you earlier.”

“Yeah?”

“Said you couldn’t understand him.”

“I mean I can’t normally, so I’m not sure why he’d tell you that specifically….”

“He also wanted me to ask you about Kanan.”

“What about him?”  He can’t help a slight waver, the hum of the man’s lightsaber filling his mind again as the stench from i—

“You know, _Hera._ ”

Recognition hits him like a freighter.  “ _Oh._ ”  She laughs quietly.

“Yeah.  Personally?  I never imagined _him_ with someone like _her._ ”

“Me either,” he admits, raising a shaking hand to push strands of slick hair back that’s slipped down onto his forehead.

Her gaze becomes concerned.  “Sure you’re doing okay? I can go get you something….”

“I’m fine, Sabine.”  He sighs, rubbing his eyes with a tired hand.  He needs to tell Kanan something...something _important..._ only he can’t remember _what._  Maybe it’s not that important, then.

A sharp pain shoots up his leg suddenly and he gasps, clenching his teeth and holding back another cry of pain as he goes to clutch at the limb, only to find nothing and remember just exactly _why_ it’s hurting.

Sabine perks up suddenly, and he catches the concern she’s clearly suppressing due to his firm “no pity” policy.  “Hey, Kanan ever show you a holodrama?”

He shakes his head slowly.  “No…?” Her face splits into a wide grin.

“Alright, wait here, hold on.”  She scrambles off the chair and bolts out of the room.

With nothing else to do, he waits.

Sabine returns soon enough, carrying a pile of something that she dumps unceremoniously onto the floor in front of the bunk.  He moves to the edge of the bunk, wincing but forcing the wave of nausea down as he peers over. Sabine’s spreading several of the holodisks out, muttering to herself and occasionally rearranging them.

“What’re those?”

She glances up.  “Holovids. These ones,” she continues, raising the one in her hand, “are specifically holo _dramas._  They’re...stories, but on holovid.  Like you see it happening.”

“Oh.  I think I saw one of those at Old Jho’s once.”

She smiles, nodding rapidly.  “Yeah, that. I have a bunch I’ve picked up, and Hera showed me a couple more.  You wanna pick one?”

“Sure.”

She turns the disks so he can see the Aurebesh written on them, and thankfully the titles of most of them are short enough that he can understand them.  He looks back up at her finally, overwhelmed. “Uh...what ones are your favorite? I haven’t seen any of them, so….”

“Well _Octave Stairway_ ’s good, and so is _Kallea’s Hope._  Hera’s the one who showed me _Ryloth Place_ but I haven’t actually seen any of it yet.”  She shifts so now her legs are stretched out in front of her and she’s leaning back on her hands, reaching one up to rub the back of her neck.  “It’s kinda long, too; she said it’s a series or something. We both like _Scriver’s Revenge_ though; you might too... _Starflash_ is good.  I’ve only seen a few of the episodes, but I think you’d like it too.  And it’s one of the ones that you don’t need to see the rest of it to understand what’s going on.”  She looks up at him, an intensity in her gaze he can’t recognize.

“Then let’s do that one,” he decides, biting his lip as another shooting pain enters his awareness.  She nods, pushing the rest of them into a pile before standing.

“I’ll go get the projector.”

* * *

By the time Sabine finishes setting up the projector, Zeb pokes his head in, ears twitching as he sees the Mandalorian kneeling—somewhat awkwardly, thanks to her splint—amidst the piled holodisks and the boy watching her intently despite his pained expression.

“What’re you two up to?”

Sabine doesn’t look up, though Ezra does with, the man notes, a look of alarm.  “We’re watching _Starflash._ ”

“ _Starflash,_ eh?  That’s one o’ Hera’s favorites.”  Sabine nods, opening the projector and sliding the disk in as Ezra finally begins to relax again.  The kid retains the look of a nerf in headlights, though less so than before.

The projector finally flickers to life and Sabine sits back, scooting until her back’s up against the bunk.  “You two mind if I stay?”

“Nope,” Sabine replies.  “Just be quiet.” Zeb nods in assent and walks over, easing himself to the ground next to her.

* * *

Chopper enters when they’re a few minutes in, beeping shrilly until Sabine shushes him loudly.  He rolls over, parking himself near Ezra’s head and close enough for the boy to trail a hand along the top of his dome.

Hera enters soon after, stifling a laugh upon recognition of the holovid, but she sits next to Zeb and leans back against the bunk.

The episode ends and Sabine moves forward to start the next one without asking.

Kanan only comes in after they’re already halfway through the second of the hour-long episodes, and finds a spot on the bunk with Ezra above Hera.  Ezra catches Hera tilting her head back, closing her eyes as she reaches for his hand and starts to rub the back of it methodically. Ezra returns his gaze to the show, eyelids growing heavy even as phantom pains continue to flare up from what remains of his leg.

He shifts, and feels Kanan’s hand moving to his own and squeezing lightly in reassurance to his unspoken question.

For the first time in a while, when he drifts off to sleep, there aren’t any nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys will likely be getting a second chapter today too, since I want this all to get posted before May 4th for a surprise and I didn't realize how behind I was in posting until yesterday.
> 
> Also, appreciate the fluff while it lasts.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in the orange sun rays  
> and dares to claim the sky.  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan can't find a job and is a hot mess in other ways too, Sabine is _convinced_ that you can't fire a blaster in space, and Ezra is _convinced_ that you can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, as promised, here's that second chapter!

“I need a job.”

“And I need a doonium mine.  Kriff off, kid.”

Sighing, Kanan turns away from the bar, leaving the cantina without another word.  He stops outside, leaning against the wall and rubbing his temples as an Imperial patrol moves by.

They have a good few months before Ezra will even be _ready_ for a prosthetic, if the research he did earlier was reliable.  And he needs to get some fifteen thousand credits by then.

His comm chirps and he pulls it out.  “Yeah?”

“Ghost _to Spectre...Kay._ ”  When he’d first explained their comm naming system to her, she hadn’t hesitated to show her disapproval, and didn’t now, either.  Smirking, he rolls his eyes as she continues. “ _Just checking in on how the job search is going._ ”

“Well...not good?  But I mean...could be worse?”  Kriff, how is he supposed to explain this in a way that won’t make her irritated?

“ _...define that._ ”

“I mean, well, I don’t _have_ a job yet, _per se,_ but I can _get_ one, and I _will_ have one, and—”

She interrupts him with a sigh.  “ _Just...come back to the ship.  Zeb and I can get you something set up, I have a few contacts._ ”

“I mean, if you’re all right with tha—”

“ _Hold up, the kids are arguing again._ ”  He hears a shout that sounds vaguely like an accusation and vaguely like it’s originating from Sabine in the background.  “Ghost _out._ ”  She ends the call abruptly and he’s left staring at his comm before shrugging and pocketing it.  Back to the _Ghost_ it is, then.

He gets back on his speeder, guns it and starts out of the city.  He’s only halfway down the highway, nowhere close to leaving it yet, when he hears the fighter.

He glances up, meaning it to be a brief look, but his eyes widen in surprise.  It’s a TIE, a variation he’s never seen before, and it fills him with...dread.

A sudden shriek yanks his attention back to the road in time to avoid hitting a Loth-cat crossing it.   He gives the animal a glance as he whizzes past, only to receive a loud hiss in response.

The sight of the TIE continues to nag at him the rest of the way back to the _Ghost._  He dismounts it, turning the ignition off and taking it with him as he heads back into the ship.  After stowing it in the cargo bay, he heads up the ladder, shaking his head and giving a fond smile as he hears the strains of Sabine and Ezra yelling about something.

He heads straight to Ezra’s room, not seeing Hera on the way.  The kid’s door is open already, and he pauses outside.

“—I’m saying is that you _can’t fire a blaster in space!_ ”

“And what about if you have it in a helmet or something?!”

“But _why_ would you have a _blaster_ in a _helmet!?_ ” Sabine yells incredulously.

“I didn’t say _I_ did, just that _hypothet—_ ”

She cuts Ezra off.  “If it’s _hypothetical_ then why are you even _arguing_ about it?!”

“Maybe because it’s—”

Clearly, the kids have it covered.  Smiling, he continues to the cockpit.

Hera’s kneeling in front of Chopper, one of the droid’s front panels open as she does something to the circuitry.  Thankfully, the droid is shut off, so he gets no snide comments as he watches her in silence, unwilling to interrupt her.

Finally she rocks back onto her heels, studying the astromech before he clears his throat.  She turns, smiling.

“Kanan.”

“How’s Chop doing?”

“Good, he’s just...when was the last time you updated his programming?”

“Uh…..”   _Updated?_  Why would Chopper need _updating?_  He’s always functioned fine, aside from the occasional shocks that have become less common since Ezra’s arrival.

Her mouth sets into a thin line.  “ _Don’t_ tell me you haven’t updated him.”

“...I didn’t downgrade him?”

_Kriff, Kanan.  Get it together._

She sighs loudly, standing and nudging the droid’s access panel shut with her foot.  “Then I guess I’ll have to update him. Didn’t you ever let Ezra take a look at him?”

“Why Ezra in particular?”

She sighs again.  “Kanan, he’s got a talent for mechanics.  Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“I mean...he helps me with ship repairs?”

“Kanan.  Are you _honestly_ trying to tell me.  That you. _Never._  Noticed that he was beyond average in that category?”

“He was always better than I was…?”

Hera shakes her head, lekku whipping with the motion.  “Just...if he’s okay with it, I’d prefer it if _he_ took over whatever you call ‘doing Chopper’s maintenance,’ because clearly _this,_ ” she gestures to the droid, “is not it.”

“Alright, sure.  But _speaking_ of Ezra, you said you and Zeb had a job or something?”

“Yeah, hold on.”  Her lekku, which he hadn’t noticed were being held rigid and slightly arced toward her back until now, relax as she wipes her hands on her pants and gestures for him to follow her.  She plops down in the pilot’s seat, and he’s struck by how _natural_ it seems for her to be there.  She grabs a datapad resting in a precarious position on the edge of the console and pulls up something before turning around and showing it to him.  He takes it, reading over it carefully as his brows raise in surprise.

“Stealing directly from the Empire, huh?”

“Yeah.  Nothing more than what you were doing when you met Zeb.”

“But that wasn’t Imperial property.”

She snorts.  “It was about to be, if you hadn’t intercepted the shipment.”

He blinks in surprise.  “What do you mean?”

“They were delivering them as prototypes to be mass-produced.”  She pauses, waits for something to sink in. Nothing does. “Those were what was used on Lasan.”

_Oh._

“I would’ve thought your contact would’ve mentioned where they were going, or who owned them.”

“I’m...not sure, I just got told that there was a shipment of weapons.  I didn’t even take the initial comm, Sabine did.”

“Hmm.  Anyway.”  She nods to the datapad.  “What do you think?”

“It’s...not credits.”

“Not directly, no.  But it’s half ration bars, and you could probably take a cut of the weapons to sell, too.”

“I’ll have to talk to the others about it,” he says slowly.  “But...we really need the credits for Ezra’s leg.”

“I can keep trying to find an op offering credits in the meantime.  But you wouldn’t have to spend money on rations for a while, at least.”

“Op?”

“Job, sorry.  It’s...still thinking of Ryloth.”  She tries to laugh, but even after almost ten cycles he knows her better than this, knows both her and Ezra enough to recognize the flash of suppressed pain.  She swallows, clearing her throat.

“Just go talk to them, and I’ll try and find you a better job.  Okay?”

“Sure,” Kanan nods.  He turns, heading to the exit of the cockpit before stopping and turning back.  “You need anything for Chopper?”

“Think I’m good, thanks love.”  Smiling, he nods, Zeb’s question from almost a week ago swirling in his mind.

_“So, Hera, why’d you call ‘im love?”_


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The free bird thinks of another breeze  
> and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees  
> and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn  
> and he names the sky his own  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan is completely blind to everything, Sabine is somewhat helpful, and Ezra is very very worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Blood

As he fires another charge behind him, he remembers the reason that he decided never to participate in open rebellion and/or theft against the Empire.

He ducks instinctively, a bolt sailing over his head as he pulls his comm out and puts it to his lips.  “Zeb, everything okay on your end?”

“ _Yeah, just get over ‘ere with those crates soo—_ ”  The man is cut off by a blast, and Kanan hears him mutter a curse.  “ _Gonna have to call you back, Kanan._ ”

“Alright.”  He fires again, nailing a trooper in the shoulder and pushing the crate forward.

 _Kriff_ he is never doing this again.

But hey, at least he hasn’t been sh—

Of _course_ he just _has_ to say that!

Kriff _that hurts._

Hera’s owing him medical insurance.

He reaches the ship about the same time as Zeb, and Sabine helps them pull the crates in further as Hera takes the _Ghost_ back to their temporary base, going high enough to avoid the blaster charges that ping against the hull as the ramp closes.  Kanan stumbles up to the cockpit, and upon seeing that Hera’s focused but not yelling at him to go shoot stuff, he slumps into the copilot’s seat and puts a hand to his side, squeezing lightly and wincing.

“How’s Ezra?”

 _Kriff_ he forgot the kid.  Today’s just going _great._

“I’ll– I’ll go check,” he mumbles, stumbling to his feet again and heading to the kid’s cabin.  The ship tilts violently and he lurches to the side, gasping as his side slams against the wall until he can regain his balance.  He doesn’t even have to knock before the kid’s already calling, “Come in.”

He enters, offering a tired smile as he approaches and sits in the chair next to the kid’s bunk.  Ezra smiles in return. He reaches a hand up, stroking the kid’s hair back before Ezra’s fingers find his and latch onto his hand.

However, the kid’s smile becomes a frown.  “Whose blood is this?”

Kanan blinks, realizing with a start that the kid’s holding the same hand he held to his side moments ago.  He untwines his fingers from the kid’s and reaches to it again.

His hand comes away sticky and dark.

He stares at it, confused, and then Ezra’s shouting his name as the ship seems to tilt under him again and he ends up on the floor.

* * *

“Hera.  We need to talk.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

He walks to the copilot’s chair, again marvelling at how she’s already seemed to become more in tune with his ship than he ever managed in almost ten years.  She presses one last thing on the console as the door slides shut behind him before turning, gaze flickering to his bandaged side. He grimaces.

“I’m fine.”

“I know, but does Ezra?”

He grimaces again, looking away. _Kriff_ her perceptiveness, _kriff_ his injury, _kriff_ the kid’s concern—if there’s anyone Ezra should be concerned about, it’s himself.  Force knows the kid’s already been through enough.

“Anyway.  Uh, what I wanted to talk about.”

“Right.”

“Um...I don’t….” _Kriff it, Kanan, just_ say something _already!  “_ Uh...I’m not sure that...that this whole, the whole rebellion thing….”

“Kanan, whatever’s bothering you, it’s clearly big.  Just tell me, please.”

Her voice is so _sincere,_ so _gentle,_ that he feels another wave of shame at telling her his true feelings about this.  But for his sake, for Sabine’s sake, for _Ezra’s sake,_ he _needs_ to tell her.

“I...I’m not sure this rebellion thing’ll work out for us.”

She cocks her head.  “Us?”

 _Ah kriff, abort abort—_ “Uh, the crew- my crew, Sabine and Ezra and uh, and me.  I’m just...I don’t know if it’s a good fit. With Ezra needing a leg, and our limitations...and we don’t really...butt heads with the Empire….Not the way you and Zeb do….”   _So bravely, marching straight from the fire with a little kid that had the mistaken luck to be born with rebel parents and targeted by the Empire’s attack on their parents.  Not like that._

No, Kanan’s crew...they fight, but in the small ways.  Smuggling a shipment of spice past a blockade. Ducking under the Empire’s radar to meet with a contact.

They both fight.

But not in the same way.

And that’s what she needs to realize.

“It just...it won’t work out, Hera.  I’m sorry.”

“What are you saying?”

“I...I don’t think we can be...together, Hera...or whatever you want to call this.”  At “this,” he gestures vaguely to the surrounding cockpit, face burning in shame even as he hopes she can’t see it.  “I’m...sorry.”

“Oh.”

That’s all she says, her face becoming impassive, and his gaze drops.  _Kriff it, you just blew_ everything!  But it’s what he has to do, for Ezra’s sake.   _This is for Ezra,_ he tells himself.   _Not yourself._

“Alright.”

Without a word, she stands, and goes to leave the cockpit.  He swallows, gaze raising as she reaches for the door controls.

“Wait.”

She freezes, but doesn’t turn back as he approaches.

“This isn’t...goodbye, you know.”

“I know,” she answers quietly, turning as he rests a hand on her shoulder.  “It’s just...another ‘Kanan, run,’ isn’t it?” She offers a sad smile, and something in him completely _shatters._

“Yeah, but this time, you aren’t staying on Ryloth.”

“What about Ezra’s flying lessons?”

“If you still want to teach him, he’d love it.”  He takes a step closer to her, placing his other hand on her remaining shoulder.

“And you’re not running this time, either, right?”

Her voice is immeasurably quiet, and he immediately knows she’s not talking about flying lessons, that she’s talking about abandonment.  About him fleeing everything he’s scared of, because he’s a coward, because he’s scared to die.

“I’m not,” he lies, and kisses her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter today, I think I’ll be alternating between one and two a day until I’m finished!
> 
> Also can someone yell at Kanan please and thanks.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn  
> and he names the sky his own  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan does something right for a minute and then he immediately revserses it, Sabine walks in on someone, and Ezra really does need supervision even when he’s with someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Kidnapping

She makes a surprised sound against his mouth, hands going up before quickly wrapping her arms around him and pulling him to her.  Kanan smiles, pulling back briefly to rest his forehead against hers.

“I don’t want to leave,” she whispers.

“I know.”   _I don’t want you to, either._  Instead of saying that, however, he kisses her again.

She leads him to the wall, turning him so his back is against it as she pushes him backward.  Her hand slips up to his hair, tangling in it as she starts to pull his hair tie loose.

Someone clears their throat.

They both still, Hera moving back from him and turning.  Sabine stands in the now-open doorway, shifting her weight onto her uninjured leg as she blinks.

“Um...I can come back?”

“Ah...that might be best,” he responds slowly, shooting a glance at Hera as she passes his hair tie back.  She gives an imperceptible shrug.

“Alright.”  Sabine shrugs and leaves, the door sliding shut behind her.

He and Hera share a glance, and he notes with satisfaction that the tips of her lekku have darkened and intertwined.  He knows he’s blushing as well, but now that Sabine’s gone, he feels more comfortable letting out a shaky laugh.

“Um….”

“I should...go tell Zeb.”

“You should,” he agrees, but neither of them move.

Finally, she asks, “Are you hungry?  We could go get something...before….”

“Sure,” he nods.  Anything to delay the inevitable.  The inevitable that he’s bringing upon himself.

_It’s for Ezra.  Everything’s for Ezra._

She palms the door open and he follows her to the galley, tying his hair back again as he does so.  Her lekku remain intertwined and he smiles again, allowing his hand to brush against hers.

He makes caf and leans against the counter to wait, a faint smirk curling his lips as she settles against the counter next to him.

“I don’t trust you to make anything edible without supervision, love,” she teases, elbowing him.  He chuckles, returning the gesture.

“I’ve kept Ezra and Sabine alive this long.  Think I can’t do the same with you?”

She leans into him, humming indecisively as he wraps an arm around her and pulls her close, resting his chin on her head and closing his eyes.

_She’s leaving, and all because you asked her to.  This is just her getting another chance at goodbye, a chance you deprived her of last time._

“My father thought you used a mind trick on me,” she admits quietly, as if reading his thoughts.  “I told him you didn’t. But sometimes...sometimes, I still wondered. Now I don’t, of course, but...without you, it was hard.”

“I wouldn’t have.  I hope you know that.”  His voice is low, eyes still closed as he sees her struggling against her father’s grip again, eyes wide as she pleads for him to run, to go, to _leave her._

_Just like Depa._

A comm beeps and she breaks away suddenly, her absence leaving him cold as she pulls out her comm.  He opens his eyes to watch as she steps across the galley, speaking quietly into it. Her brow furrows, and he’s opening his mouth to ask what’s wrong when the caf machine beeps.  He clicks it off, glancing over his shoulder as Hera continues to argue into the commlink. She sighs, clicking it off again and approaching as he pours her a cup.

“I contacted someone a few rotations ago about Ezra’s leg.  They’re an old friend of a friend, and they’ve got a med droid.  They just commed back and said I could bring him by today.”

Kanan nods, smiling.  “Good. I can run him by later.”

“That’s the thing, Kanan.  They just want me to go with him.  They said they don’t trust anyone else.”  She sighs. “But I can take the speeder, or the _Phantom..._ we shouldn’t be too long.”

“Alright.”  He sighs as well.  “I’ll go let him know.”

He hands her mug to her before leaving, hands lingering on hers before he forces himself to go.   _You’re just nostalgic that you’re leaving her again.  That’s all it is._

* * *

She doesn’t miss how Ezra tenses as they get further into the city, flinching at every transport that passes them by.  Her mouth twists and she scans the road ahead, ignoring the leering gazes of a pair of men that look suspiciously like bounty hunters.

_Relax.  They’ve never seen your face, not after you got out.  All the holograms they have of you are outdated._

“So, Ezra,” she begins, trying to distract the boy.  He glances back at her. “Where did you grow up?”

“Here,” he mumbles, gesturing to the street around them.  “We lived off of Heroes’ Way. And when they got...taken, I just lived out here.”

“On the streets?”

“Yeah.”  He’s quiet again as she sees the name of the street she’s looking for and slows the speeder, turning it onto the smaller road.  “Until the slavers.”

“I’m sorry I brought that up.”

“It’s fine.”  He shrugs, but she can feel the faint trembling that betrays his lie.

“It’s okay to not be fine.”  Hera stops the speeder outside a small, skinny building, tucked away among the rest.  It’s not particularly bright, just the same sandy tan as the surrounding architecture.

She swings her leg over and steps forward to Ezra, helping him off.  He clings to her arm for support, stumbling forward on his remaining leg.  She leads him to the door and knocks.

* * *

Kanan and Chopper are arguing when the comm comes.  Sabine picks it up, checking the frequency before taking it over to where Zeb’s watching the debate, amusement on his face as he leans back further on the bench.

“Kanan!” she calls.  The man turns, a sour expression on his face.

“What?  I’m trying to get the FRM transmissions hooked up.”

“Comm.”  She holds it up before tossing it to him.  Catching it easily, he turns it on, and even Chopper quiets to hear.

An unfamiliar voice crackles over the comm.  “ _Is this Kanan Jarrus?_ ”

“Yeah, Ghost Transport.  What d’you need?”

“ _Kanan?_ ”

Sabine’s heart jumps to her throat, and she sees Kanan’s sudden panic plain on his face.  He grips the comm more tightly as even Zeb leans forward, ears flattened.

“Ye– yeah?”

“ _Kanan, I– I’m scared._ ”  The boy’s voice is quiet, but the tremble in it is obvious.  Kanan’s grip tightens even more.

“Where are you, kid?”

“ _I’m not– not– I don’t know._ ”  There’s silence, just heavy breathing over the comm before Ezra starts speaking again in a rush.  “ _I– he’s– he’s got a blaster pointed– pointed at Hera, and– and I can’t use_ It, _he injected me or something– he says you’ve gotta bring Starbird or he’ll sell me to th—_ “

A rough voice cuts in.  “ _Time’s_ up, _kid._ ”  There’s a sharp cry of pain, the sound of a blaster charge, another shout.  And another charge.

The comm goes off abruptly and Kanan stares at it in shock, hand shaking as Sabine bites her lip hard enough to bleed.

The man seems to slump in defeat, rubbing his forehead.

The comm chirps again, the happy sound a stark contrast to the adrenaline thrumming through Sabine’s veins.  Kanan answers immediately.

“ _You have three rotations.  Bring Starbird to these coordinates._

“ _And, before you wonder if it’s worth trying to get the boy out on your own...just know that the Empire’s got a_ very _high price on the heads of people with his...abilities.  Dead_ or _alive._ ”

The comm clicks off with an awful finality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone help this poor child.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But a bird that stalks  
> down his narrow cage  
> can seldom see through  
> his bars of rage  
> \--"Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan gets _mad,_ Sabine might be permanently grounded, and Ezra is tired of dealing with everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so much later than the last chapter, but it's here, so. Have yet another chapter.
> 
> TW: Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

Ezra whimpers, huddling against the wall and rocking back and forth as he tries to forget the salty taste in his mouth.  The tears still roll down his face unbidden as he forgets trying to ignore the goosebumps still running down his skin, instead trying to disappear.  It’s cold. He’s dealt with cold before. Cold only gives him more of an excuse to disappear, to….

Unwillingly, his gaze slides over to Hera, another deep shudder running through him when he sees that she’s still unconscious.  But at least she’s okay. She’s okay, he reminds himself, even if he _himself_ is not.  She’s okay.

He doesn’t need to be.

A sound echoing from outside the room startles him and he turns to the door, shaking harder.  Within moments Dolsher enters and Ezra exhales sharply, dropping his head against his knee again as he leans his side against the wall.

The man chuckles, stopping just in front of him.  Ezra sucks in another breath, letting it rattle out.

“You’re still just a little coward, aren’t you?  Not sure why I expected anything different.” He crouches down, lifting Ezra’s chin and tracing a hand along it.  Ezra flinches back, smacking his head on the duracrete and barely withholding a cry of pain.

“Not worth it, kid,” the man drawls.  “The Empire’ll get you either way. No use fighting it.”

“You’re not the Empire,” Ezra snarls in return.  “You’re _worse._ ”

A sharp slap snaps his neck to the side, eliciting another cry.  “I’m surprised none of your training seems to have stuck.” Grasping the teen’s jaw in his grip again, the man tightens his hold enough to hurt.  “Though, clearly you haven’t forgotten it _entirely,_ as your earlier de—“

Ezra forces his head down, biting at the man’s hand and managing to catch the meat of it.  Dolsher hisses in pain, abruptly shoving the side of the teen’s face down into the duracrete.

“I’d begin to _rethink your decisions_ if I were you, boy.”  The man rises, driving a heel into Ezra’s side before turning and walking to the door.  He stops as it opens, glancing back over his shoulder as Ezra shakily pulls himself back up.  “The Empire’ll accept you _dead,_ too.”

* * *

Kanan splays his hands on the dejarik table, trying to steady himself.  They have three rotations. Three whole rotations. They can do this.

No, it’s his fault— _he_ can do this.  And he _will_ do this.

“Kanan?”

He jumps at Sabine’s light touch on his shoulder, glancing at the girl.  She’s been unnaturally quiet ever since the comm came, barely responding to Zeb.

She’s taking the loss as hard as he is.

Almost.

After all, it’s not _her_ fault.

“Kanan, I need- I need to talk to you.”

Finally he sighs, dropping his head to his chest and nodding to himself before turning away from the table and the map Chopper’s pulled up, following the teenager into the cockpit.  As soon as the door closes she turns back around, shifting her weight and rubbing the spot on her forearm just below her elbow pad as she bites her lip. Her gaze drops, and she’s still silent.  Several long moments pass and he’s about to ask if he can get back to working on a plan to get Ezra and Hera out when she finally speaks up, however her voice is too soft to hear.

“What?”

“Fulcrum promised that it wasn’t compromised,” she repeats.  A chill runs down his spine.

“ _What_ wasn’t compromised?”

“My- my cover,” she whispers.

“ _What_ cover?”  Her evasiveness is only making him more and more uneasy.

“ _My_ cover,” she snaps, voice suddenly harsh as she looks into his eyes with a sharp gaze.  “I checked, after the whole incident with the disruptors, and sh- they said I wasn’t compromised.  They didn’t find out. S- they _promised._ ”

“Hold on, Sabine, wait, _who_ promised?”

“Fulcrum.  They...they recruited me.”

“Recruited?”

She nods with a fervor, fire in her eyes.  “Yeah. Recruited. I...back when I was looking into defecting, I did my research.  One day I thought enough was enough and I decided to just up and leave. And on the way out, I had to make it all seem normal, so I stopped for a while and...I ran into someone.  H- they asked me...if I wanted a drink, and to talk. They saw my bag, I think, maybe guessed I was defecting, I dunno. Somehow we got to talking about- about fighting the Empire, but h- they were talking in terms subtle enough that the Empire or any of its informants wouldn’t have picked up on it.  But someone _looking..._ someone with a _desire_ to join up, to desert, to _run_ would have.”  She swallows, gaze flicking up to meet his.  “Someone like me.”

“So what...what are you trying to tell me?”

“I….”  She sighs, running a hand through her hair.  “I’m not neutral.

“I’m a rebel, and this—Ghost Transport, me, all of this—is registered with Fulcrum as a cell.  They don’t allow independent operatives aside from themselves, not anymore.

“I’m Starbird.”

Everything makes sense now—her irrational fear of the Empire, _beyond_ what he would have thought would be normal for a defector, her jumpiness, her insistence on no one touching her comm, her ability to hack into the Imperial databases in seconds— _all_ of it.

All of it’s a lie.

“The reason Hera and Zeb found us so quickly when we were getting the disruptors...Fulcrum told me they gave out the information to multiple cells.  In case- in case things went south. And I was supposed to arrange and communicate a pickup later on if need be.” She holds up her comm. “That’s why they found us so quickly with Vizago, too.”  She stops for a moment. “But the Empire...they weren’t supposed to follow.”

He doesn’t know what to think.

This girl.  This girl, who he’s allowed to live on his ship for how long now?—eleven months, nearly a cycle?—has _betrayed_ them.  He had _explicitly_ told her that they were neutral, that neither he nor Ezra wanted any more entanglements with the Empire than were necessary to operate the company.

Kriff, if she had lied about this, what _else_ had she lied about?

And now, because of _her,_ not him, Ezra and Hera were- were—

Without a word, he turns and leaves the cockpit.  As he goes, he catches her final words to him.

“Kanan...I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to completely rewrite an entire half of the second scene rippp


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But a bird that stalks  
> down his narrow cage  
> can seldom see through  
> his bars of rage  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan realizes just how out of his depth he is, Sabine learns a lesson about trust the hard way, and Ezra is _really_ having a bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

He sets the  _ Phantom _ down slowly, getting out of the pilot’s seat and glancing at Sabine as he moves to the back of the small shuttle.

“Are you ready?”

She nods, eyes dark with a focus he knows must be mirrored on his own face.

“Then let’s go.”

He slams the button to open the ramp with a fist, letting Sabine exit first as he feels for his blaster on his belt and stiffens his leg slightly to check for his holdout one.  He already checked the power cells before they left. Now all that’s left to do is to fire them.

Her steps falter as they draw closer to the other ship, but he still doesn’t pass her.  Kanan wants to keep her ahead, where he can see her, where he  _ knows _ she can’t betray them again.

“I’m right behind you,” he speaks in a low tone.  “It’s okay.”

The words are more for his benefit than hers.

They get within a hundred meters of the ship, and the ramp opens.

He stumbles, halting for a brief moment as he sees a figure pushing two others— _ Ezra and Hera— _ down the ramp.

He forces himself forward with all the rage this man has instilled in him.

They stop about four meters from each other.  Kanan studies Dolsher, but it’s quick, more of a passing glance than anything before his eyes skip to Hera.  She appears okay, if a bit shaken.

_ Ezra. _

The boy has a new scratch on his chin, and he’s swaying slightly even as Hera supports him, likely either drugged or exhausted to the brink of passing out.  His eyes are unfocused, too, lingering longer on Kanan than on the sky, but still shifting around too lazily and too much for Kanan to be comfortable.

His rage swells, and he shoves it back down.   _ Not yet. _

“Where’s Starbird?” Dolsher demands.

Kanan thinks quickly.  He can hand Sabine over, trade her for them, get it done with quickly.  The girl can handle herself, he’s sure.

_ And what if he decides not to deliver? _ a voice whispers.   _ You’ve heard Ezra’s stories about him.  You know what he’s like. _

Anxiety squirms in his gut but Kanan pushes it down, along with the rage.  Anxiety won’t save them. Rage might, but not now.

Now, he has to act in control of the situation.

He sucks in a breath and exhales through his nose, eyes flicking to Ezra again.

“Where’s Starbird?” Dolsher repeats.  Kanan realizes that he’s standing on a precipice, a fulcrum—fitting, considering Sabine’s confession—and whichever way he falls, Ezra, Hera, and Sabine will fall with him.

He takes the leap.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The man rests a hand on Ezra’s shoulder and Kanan’s throat tightens.  The boy stiffens slightly, and Kanan sees a flash of coherency in the form of terror that’s gone as quickly as it appears.   _ Is he faking it? _

“That would  _ really _ be a shame.  Because, if you don’t hand Starbird over  _ right now, _ the Empire will be receiving a comm in…” he glances at his wrist chrono, “one minute.”

Kanan’s heart stops and he swallows, gaze flashing to Hera.  Her gaze is the same as Sabine’s, and he can read the message in it easily enough— _ get him out of here. _

_ I’m sorry. _

Without warning, he draws his blaster, flicking it to stun in the same instant as he points it at Sabine and fires point blank into her back.  She barely has time to cry out and cast him a look of betrayal before falling, and he kneels in time to stop her head from hitting the ground. He glares up at Dolsher, lowering her fully before rising.

“ _ That’s _ Starbird.”

The man chuckles, squeezing Ezra’s shoulder lightly.  This time, Kanan  _ knows _ that the look of discomfort that flashes across the boy’s face isn’t a trick of the light.  “Based on the boy’s description of you, Jarrus, if there’s one thing I was expecting,  _ that _ was certainly not it.”  Ezra swallows thickly.

“Hand them over.  I’ve done my part of the deal.  Now do your part.”

“You run a smuggling company?”  Kanan nods slowly, confused at the apparent change of topic.  “Then I’m sure you understand good business. Despite your apparent lapse of judgement concerning your purchase and subsequent decisions regarding the boy, your company clearly could not still be running were it not for some sense of vision.”   _ Just stop talking so I can get them and get out of here already. _  “And, by extension, risk.”

His eyes snap to the man’s hand as he draws a blaster, raising it slowly and pointing it at Hera.  Kanan follows suit, only much quicker, however the other man makes a  _ tsk _ ing noise and lets go of Ezra to raise a small device.  Ezra instantly stiffens, flinching against Hera’s side at the sight of it.

“What is that?” Kanan growls, blaster still pointed at Dolsher’s forehead.

“Lower your blaster, or I will activate the boy’s cuffs.  The Empire doesn’t care what condition he’s in, only that he’s  _ there. _ ”

He swallows.  “And how do I know you still won’t?  Or that you won’t just shoot me or Hera or him and be done with it?”

Dolsher gives a soft laugh, and Kanan grits his teeth as Ezra flinches again at the sound.  “You don’t.”

“What do you want?”

“It’s simple, really.  The Empire pays well for rebel contacts, and Starbird’s had a price on her head for a while now.  And if this  _ Hera _ is the same person who gave that dramatic little ‘net segment a few months ago...they’re paying well for her, too.  And I think you know why the boy is valuable.” He does. He does, so much that it  _ hurts. _  It hurts that he can’t protect him, can’t protect Hera.  That he’s so willing to throw Sabine to the wolves for their sakes.  “Decide, Jarrus.”   
“Decide what?” he asks in a flat tone.

“Decide who will leave here with you, and who will stay.”

“Starbird’s staying.  No one else.”

“I’m not sure you truly understand what’s at stake here, Jarrus.  You’re only taking  _ one _ of them with you—make any move otherwise, the boy gets shocked to within an inch of his life if not further, and your girl discovers what being shot in the face feels like.”

_ No. _

_ No no no no  _ no.  He  _ can’t _ choose.  Can’t can’t  _ can’t. _  This was supposed to be an exchange, not– not—

He swallows.

He has no control.

“I’ll give you another minute, and if you haven’t made your choice by then, well.  I wonder how much the Empire pays for sympathizers as well?”

Kanan clenches and unclenches his free hand, working his jaw as his eyes flick between Hera and Ezra.

He can’t  _ choose. _

It wasn’t supposed to  _ be like this. _

He’s supposed to come, get them out, take Sabine and them back to the  _ Phantom _ and then to the  _ Ghost _ where Chopper and Zeb wait.  He isn’t supposed to have to  _ choose _ and  _ leave _ one of them there.

“Thirty seconds.”

He swallows again.  Ezra’s resigned, head lowered, and if Kanan’s seeing right, a tear slipping out from underneath his thick lashes.  Hera, in contrast, is staring directly at him, even as she supports Ezra.

_ Choose. _

Hera’s telling him who to choose.  And so is Ezra.

_ Choose. _

Losing Sabine is bad enough, even in light of her betrayal.  But losing  _ Ezra, _ or  _ Hera— _

_ Choose. _

“Ten.”

_ Choose choose  _ choose.

“Nine.”

_ Kanan, just make your kriffing choice already! _

“Eight.”

_ Depa staring into his eyes, making her own choice. _

“Seven.”

_ “Now, run.” _

“Six.”

_ Cham’s hand clamped over his daughter’s mouth as he yells for Kanan to come down. _

“Five.”

_ “Kanan,  _ run! _ ” _

“Four.”

_ Choose. _

“Three.”

Swallows thickly.

“Two.”

Clenches and unclenches his hand again, gaze flicking between them.  And then he  _ knows. _

“One.”

“Wait.”  Dolsher’s finger pauses, trigger halfway pulled already.  “I’ve made my decision.”

_ I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m _ sorry—

“And?”  A smile curves over the man’s lips.

_ I’m so sorry kid. _

“Her.  He– Hera.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams  
> his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan gets more stressed, Sabine fights everyone, and Ezra deserves a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/Referenced Drug Use by Minor (Non-Consensual)

When they arrive back on the _Ghost,_ as soon they’re out of the _Phantom,_ he turns to Hera and she slaps him.

He blinks in shock, studying her anew.

“What—“

“ _That_ was for leaving Ezra behind.  And for betraying Sabine.” She steps back, placing a hand on her hip, and he tries to ignore the faint marks the cuffs have left on her wrists.

“Sabine betrayed _me,_ Hera.  And I got you out, I’m working– working on something—“

“On _what,_ Kanan?!  A _plan?!_  He’s turning them over to the Empire as we _speak!_  Your plan won’t _work_ this time!”

_“I have a plan,” he announces in a whisper to the rest of their ragged group.  He tears his gaze away at long last from the Imperial transport parked around the other side of the rock that’s hiding them._

_“Yeah?  And what good will that do?” one of Hera’s cousins asks skeptically, raising a brow as he studies Kanan.  “For all we know, they already know what all of us look like.”_

_“But not Kanan.”  Everyone turns to Hera, standing near there back of the group.  “They’re expecting Twi’leks. Not him.”_

“It will,” he says hoarsely.  “It– It _has_ to.”

“Wake _up,_ Kanan!  It might not!  This is the _Empire_ we’re talking about!  We can’t go head to head against them and win, much less get the kids out, too.”

“And what happened to _you?!_  Just a couple of months ago, you were making speeches against them!  And running a full-blown rebellion!”

“I still am!  We just have to take _calculated_ risks, Kanan.  And going up against the Empire to save two teenagers _isn’t_ a calculated risk.  Making speeches is _different_ than running head-long into battle against an entire garrison.”  She swallows, and he catches a flicker of fear in her eyes. “I want to, Kanan, believe me.  But we can’t risk it.”

“No.”  He realizes what she’s saying, understands the message in her eyes.  He shakes his head. “No, no. No, _you_ can’t risk it.  Your _rebellion_ can’t risk it.  But I—” he swallows, “I _can._ ”

* * *

He casts a glance at Sabine as the ship settles down, shifting his wrists slightly and ignoring the searing pain as the cuffs chafe against them.  The girl’s brow is furrowed as she stares at the ground, and he can almost see her wheels turning. He wants to tell her it’s hopeless, that they won’t be getting out this time.  But he can’t bring himself to do so.

Dolsher approaches and Ezra stays leaning against the wall of the ship until Sabine is uncuffed from the exposed pole.  She stands and moves to help him up.

He isn’t uncuffed.

He glances at Dolsher in confusion, but the man just draws his blaster and motions for Sabine to move forward.  “You’re staying here, kid. Don’t get ideas.”

He departs with Sabine as Ezra watches, fear rising.

* * *

The man shoves her in the small of her back with the muzzle of the blaster and she stumbles forward, shooting a dirty glare back.  He ignores it, nudging her with the blaster again.

 _Just play along, and then you can get out and get Ezra.  You’ll be okay if you just do it_ smart.

Dolsher continues nudging her forward until they enter the low, gray building ahead.  Imperial. Her lip curls at the lack of color and the sight of a pair of stormtroopers nearby.  She moves to take another step forward but the man behind her places a hand on her shoulder, holding her back.  She obliges reluctantly, taking the chance to glance around.

There’s too much security in here.  She can’t get out now. But if she waits...Sabine has a much better chance outside.

The door on the side of the room slides open and a man wearing an ISB uniform enters.  She studies him thoroughly, though he only gives her a passing glance before his gaze turns to Dolsher.

“This is Starbird?”  He has a strong Core accent that Sabine can tell isn’t faked.

“Yeah.  And I’ve got the Jedi kid out there.”  Dolsher gestures outside and the ISB agent nods, brows drawing together slightly.

“She’s younger than I would have expected.”

She shifts as Dolsher responds.  “From what I hear, she still holds her own.”

“Hmm.”  The agent continues to study her and she resists the urge to shift again under his heavy gaze.  “Alright. Take her to processing and then get her prepared for transport.” Two of the ‘troopers standing at attention nearby move to her, grabbing her arms roughly and pushing her ahead of them.

She goes along until they’re out of the room and she can barely hear the agent’s voice.  She counts to three and then moves.

She suddenly sags all her weight into the ‘trooper on her right, taking him off guard.  He stumbles and she swings her stronger leg out, managing to break his grip on her.

She’s not so lucky with the other stormtrooper, however.

The guard simply tightens his hold on her before twisting her arm sharply.  She cries out, stumbling back toward him before he grabs her other arm as well.  He pushes her ahead of him to the wall and shoves her, face first, against it.

Within moments she feels the barrel of a blaster pressed against the small—and only—vulnerable spot in her armor on the back of her neck.  A quiet voice breathes into her ear.

“ _Why don’t you try that again?_ ”

* * *

Whatever Kallus had been expecting to see upon entering the man’s ship, it hadn’t been _this._

A small boy, who doesn’t look older than thirteen, huddles against a wall.  He barely glances up as Kallus approaches, the only sign that the boy even _sees_ the agent being an increase of his trembling.

And he’s missing a leg.

Kallus swallows.

He lifts his wrist to his mouth, but hesitates before activating the comm, eyes lingering on the boy.  He’s lowered his gaze, now resting his chin on the knee of his remaining leg. Something else about the boy unsettles him, though he can’t place it.

“Are you the...Jedi boy?”

The boy blinks and looks up, raising his head.  “S– sorry sir, I– I didn’t...didn’t hear you.”

“Are you the Jedi boy?” Kallus repeats, more unsure now.  There’s a strange familiarity surrounding him, too.

“N– no, I’m not– not a Jedi...not a Jedi….”

He realizes what else is bothering him: the boy seems dazed, unfocused.  Likely drugged.

Kallus crouches slightly.  “The Force?” he asks in a quiet tone.  Recognition sparks in the boy’s eyes, but it disappears just as quickly.

“No...only– only knowledge...no d–d– death….Just the Force….”

 _Definitely_ drugged.  Kallus sighs, rising and activating his wrist comm at long last as the boy trails off.  “The boy cuffed to the pole, ask him if he’s the...Jedi.”

There’s silence for a minute, and Kallus tries to avoid looking at the boy.  He fails.

“ _He says he is, sir._ ”

“Alright.”  He changes the comm’s channel to the one he memorized only a few weeks previous and activates it.  “Inquisitor.”

“ _Agent Kallus._ ”  The cold, faintly snide voice only serves to put him more on edge.  “ _Have you found the target?_ ”

“Yes, my lord.”  He casts another glance at the boy.  “He’s at the Imperial complex, already restrained and waiting.”

“ _I am on my way.  Have him outside and ready for transport._ ”

“Of course, my lord.”  The comm clicks off and Kallus sighs, shooting a last glance at the boy before turning and calling for the stormtroopers to retrieve him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a reason Hera’s acting like this, and it shall be explained...in the future....


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But a bird that stalks  
> down his narrow cage  
> can seldom see through  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan makes a plan, Sabine is 900% Done, and Ezra would very much like it if people would stop drugging him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Drug Use by Minor (Non-Consensual), Child Abuse

Ezra sways slightly, unbalanced and not entirely in touch with the world around him.

A man’s hand rests on his shoulder, light enough to not irritate him but firm enough to steady him.  He’s not sure who the man is, only that it isn’t Dolsher and it isn’t Kanan.

He starts to lose his balance, needing to shift his weight but being unable to do so without falling.  The man’s grip suddenly tightens, his other hand flying up to Ezra’s other shoulder.

“Careful,” he says in a low tone.

Ezra barely registers it.

The ground vibrates slightly and Ezra drags his gaze up to see a small ship landing ahead of him.  The man releases one of his shoulders.

The landing gears on the gunship engage fully, steam hissing out, but the next thing he registers is the man behind him stepping back and releasing his shoulder.  He gives a small cry and falls to the ground on his side. An invisible grip tightens around his throat, dragging him up until he’s gasping for air, clawing feebly at his throat.

“...weak.”

He can barely hear what the being ahead of him is saying through his haze, but without warning he’s hurled back to the ground, throat suddenly clear of the assault on it.  Stormtroopers drag him to his feet, and he allows his head to drop; focusing requires too much energy.

* * *

“Our only opening is going to be before they get onto a Destroyer.”

Kanan points to another section of the schematic Chopper’s displaying before glancing back down at the droid.  “Do you think we can get in and out there if it comes to getting them out of the hangar?” The droid makes an uncertain noise, whirring in confusion.  “I  _ know _ I said that, but I’d like a backup plan in case we aren’t able to get there soon enough.”  He frowns in thought, absently stroking his beard as he continues to look over the schematic.  “What about at the complex? Can you pull up plans for that?” The astromech grunts unhappily, but several minutes later the Destroyer hologram disappears to be replaced with one of the Lothal Imperial Complex.  Kanan studies it intently, brow raising as he points to the airfield. “What’re the chances of getting in there and intercepting them then?”

Chopper grumbles, and Kanan frowns again.  “I don’t care if it’s unlikely. That’s the best option, isn’t it?”  The droid concedes unwillingly. “Alright. I’m willing to take that chance.  You can just be on getaway duty, how does that sound?”

The astromech emits a happy chirp, dome swiveling in appreciation.

* * *

The boy is unimpressive, to say the least.

When he had received the report detailing the account of the death of two people and the near-death of another resulting from a freak accident involving  _ three— _ not one, but  _ three— _ landspeeders, he had been expecting a Jedi Knight, or at the least a Padawan or teenager with no control whatsoever over their budding powers.  Instead, he had been greeted by... _ this. _

The boy’s signature is faint, there enough that he can tell he’s a Force-sensitive, but not much stronger than that.  He’s also drugged out of his mind and a single amputee without a prosthetic.

“Where’s Starbird?  I was informed that they had been found.”

“Yes– yes, Inquisitor.  I’ll have the men get her.”  The ISB agent turns, ordering several of the ‘troopers to get the insurgent.

He waits in silence, casting another glance at the boy.  Two ‘troopers are holding him by the arms, their grips tight enough that he can tell they’ll bruise in a day or so even from several meters away.

They drag the girl out soon enough.  She’s a mess; multicolored hair tangled and brushing a long tear in her bodysuit along her collarbone, a red mark on her cheek that looks like it’s starting to bruise.  She has armor on, and he recognizes it as Mandalorian within seconds.

She snarls at the ‘troopers restraining her, lunging toward one.  The other simply jerks at her arm again and she stumbles, nearly losing her balance.  They lead her to a spot a few meters from the boy. He doesn’t look up, but she casts a glance over at him.

“Kneel,” he demands in a cold voice.  Her gaze shifts back up to him and turns into a glare, but she doesn’t react aside from that.  He nods to the ‘troopers, and they shove her down.

“Starbird, isn’t it?”  He approaches, waving the ‘troopers away.  They hesitantly release her and let go, stepping back.  “I think you’ll be pleased to know that you’ve made things  _ quite _ difficult for us recently.”

“Yeah, and you’re just a  _ sheb’urcyin be Eskarialyr! _ ” she shouts, moving as if to get to her feet.  He simply extends a hand and shoves her back to the ground hard enough that she doubles over, coughing.

“Well.  A foul-mouthed Mandalorian and a limbless slave.  Is your pathetic uprising  _ really _ getting so desperate?”  The girl glowers at him.

“Prepare her for transport.  I’ll take her along with the boy.  I can begin her interrogation on the way to Coruscant.”  The ‘troopers pull her up again, turning her back toward the main building of the complex.

He turns his attention to the boy.  “Take him to the medcenter, and prepare him for surgery.”  The boy doesn’t even respond as the ‘troopers turn him toward the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sabine essentially says, to put it nicely, that the Inquisitor is a sycophant to the Emperor. And I mean she’s technically not wrong.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream  
> his wings are clipped and his feet are tied  
> so he opens his throat to sing.  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan puts his plan into action, Sabine still gives sage advice, and Ezra gets a genuinely good surprise for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied/Referenced Drug Use by a Minor (Non-Consensual), Restraint, Child Abuse, Electrocution

“Hera.”

The woman turns from her conversation with Zeb and Kanan’s breath catches.  Her gaze is all at once apologetic and sad and determined.

He hates it, and the way it makes his heart clench.

_You’re doing this for Ezra.  The kid doesn’t deserve to be stuck there._

_No one does._

He sighs inwardly.  “Hera, I– I’m going.  Chopper’s going with me.  I’d...like to take the _Phantom,_ and if we get back you can have it back of course, and if I’m not back in three rotations...you can have the _Ghost._ ”  His eyes shift to Zeb, and he catches the subtle nod from the other man easily.

He turns, heading to the _Phantom._  As he leaves the common room, followed by a silent Chopper, he catches a farewell from Hera.

“Good luck.  And...may the Force be with you.”

Kanan scoffs quietly.

The Force hasn’t been with him, not for a long time.

But he’ll need all the luck he can get.

* * *

Ezra wakes quickly.

Immediately, pain flares up in his leg, though it’s sharper than the phantom pains he already experiences regularly.  Wincing, he tries to sit up.

The sharp beeping of an alarm fills his ears and something on his neck emits sparks, electricity cracking over it for a moment.  He cries out, giving up on sitting up as the electricity dissipates.

A minute later the door slides open.  Ezra turns his head, wincing as the shock collar chafes against his neck.  A med droid enters, followed by a tall figure that seems vaguely familiar.

“Patient Eight Zero Three Zero is awake and functional,” the droid announces after checking his vitals.  “It is advised to let the patient rest for at least—“

“Prepare him for transport,” the man orders the ‘troopers outside, cutting the droid off.  He brushes past the robot to reach Ezra’s bedside, causing the teen to flinch backwards.

“Sir, the patient should not be—“

“I did not _ask_ for medical advice,” the man growls, still not looking at the droid.  “You are _dismissed._ ”

The ‘troopers file in and surround the bed.  Ezra’s eyes remain locked on the man with the odd armor in front, sensing his presence in the Force.  It’s strong, stronger than Kanan’s, even, and cold.

Threatening.

“W– wait,” he asks in a horse voice.  “Who– who are you?”

He’s not expecting the man to answer, though he does.  “The Inquisitor.” He makes a gesture with his hand, and the ‘troopers grasp Ezra’s arms and pull him to his feet.  He staggers, only the ‘troopers grips preventing him from collapsing.

They cuff his hands behind his back as they lead him outside, apparently oblivious to the fact that he couldn’t do anything even if he wanted with his leg gone anyway.

His leg.

It’s still throbbing, shooting pains thrumming through it.  He casts a glance down and halts in surprise, losing the semblance of balance he has.  There’s a metal _thing_ attached to his stump, with an opening—almost like an empty clamp.  Is that the socket Kanan had mentioned?

But why….

“Why– why’d you give m– me the...thing?” he asks the...Inquisitor.  He’s still not sure what to call it; Kanan seemed uncertain himself.

“Quiet, kid.”  A ‘trooper shoves his head down and he grimaces.

“Because you will not be able to train sufficiently with one leg,” the Inquisitor responds as he leads them to the ship he arrived in.

“...t– train?  What would I– I train for?”

The man snorts, stopping.  The stormtroopers restraining Ezra stop as well, right before the Inquisitor turns.  “You _do_ know why you are here, don’t you?”

“No...I just tho– thought that maybe you were gonna wait to execute me until some holiday.”

“ _Execute_ you?  My dear boy, we are going to do quite the opposite.”  He chuckles, studying Ezra again. He flinches back subconsciously.  “The Empire _needs_ people with your skill set, boy.”

“My...skill set?”  The only one that comes to mind is the one resulting from Dolsher’s appraisal of him on the day he’d met Kanan, when the former had been rigging the sale—or trying to, at least.

The Inquisitor doesn’t respond this time.

Ezra’s led into the gunship, shoved against the back wall and slipping to the floor.  He sits up, wincing as he leans back against the wall.

“Ezra.”

He glances up at the familiar voice, eyes lighting on Sabine as if she’s a beacon.  She’s battered, and for once he doubts if she was able to win her fight this time. The answer is obvious.

“Don’t try anything, kid.”  A ‘trooper in front of her shifts his blaster slightly, but she pays him no mind.  “Those cuffs are made to contain people like you.”

It takes him a moment to register what she’s saying, but he does soon enough.  He nods warily, and she smiles weakly, a loose strand of hair slipping onto her face.

He takes a chance to study the rest of the ship, noting the locations of each of the ‘troopers.  The Inquisitor stands at the far front of the shuttle, though he appears to pay no attention to either Ezra or Sabine.

The teen shudders as another wave of cold, seemingly from the Force, washes over him once more.

They’re probably taking him to a Destroyer, or wherever he’s going for the Inquisitor’s “training.”  Sabine, however...he has no idea. Wherever it is, it’ll likely be high security. They seem to think she’s some sort of rebel; apparently they’re unaware that Ghost Transport and its employees are decidedly neutral.

He sighs.  There’s no getting out of this one, no matter _which_ way he spins it.

_Kanan...don’t come.  It’s not worth it._

Something slams onto the roof of the ship.

* * *

“Chop, I’m jumping out now.  Go out of range of ‘em, but on my signal, come back and ram ‘em.   _Hard._  Clear?”  The droid beeps, and Kanan feels a grim smile creep onto his face.  “Hey, if I don’t come back...it was a good run, yeah?” He hits the button to open the back ramp.

There’s a pause, but the quiet, resigned trill the astromech replies with at long last hurts.  Kanan nods.

“Well...thanks, Chop.  Take care of Hera and Zeb, yeah?”

The _Phantom_ ’s ramp lines up with the front of the ship, and Kanan jumps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m debating whether to post the final chapter today or not...thoughts?


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The free bird thinks of another breeze  
> and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees  
> and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn  
> and he names the sky his own  
> —“Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou
> 
> |~~~|
> 
> In which Kanan needs practice, Sabine is an icon, and Ezra might finally get his hug after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Electrocution, Referenced Death of Parental Figures, Assumed Child Death, Burning, Referenced Execution

The day apparently does not seem to be getting any _less_ surprising.

First, the news of the capture of his target.  Then the actual _sighting_ of his target—a cripple.  Followed by the appearance of Starbird.

And now...now, there’s someone _walking on the roof of their gunship._

A sudden spear of blue light plunges into the cockpit, moving in a circle.  He curses.

“What the—“

The metal disk carved out of the ceiling falls, clattering to the floor.  Only moments later, their assailant lands inside.

The man is tall, by human standards at least.  Dark hair tied back in a tight tail, the man’s expression is thunderous as he rises from his crouch, glaring around at all of them.

“Who are y—“

“That doesn’t matter.”  His voice is hoarse but firm as he pivots slowly, studying the numerous Imperials surrounding him before his gaze lands on the Inquisitor.

“What _does_ is that you’ve taken my Padawan.  You’ve taken my _son._

“And I’m getting him back.”

* * *

Ezra remains against the wall, watching as Kanan challenges the Inquisitor.  His gaze is dark, stormier and more dangerous than Ezra’s ever seen it. He allows himself a faint smirk.

The Inquisitor doesn’t stand a chance.

Apparently, he’s wrong.

The Inquisitor pulls out a circular lightsaber, igniting it to reveal a crimson blade as he lands the first blow, slashing at Kanan’s arm where Ezra had singed it only a couple of months ago—though now it feels like years.  The man hisses in pain, ducking another blow.

The other Imperials have moved out of the cockpit, pilot and copilot along with a ‘trooper crowding into the back of the ship with him and Sabine and their respective guards.  They all watch the duel in unabashed awe, only distantly aware of the fact that the ship is now pilotless.

The ship is pilotless.

He and Sabine realize that fact anew at the same time.

They lock gazes, and, wincing, he closes his eyes in concentration and splays his hands as far as possible despite the binders.  An electric shock accompanies it almost immediately, but the results are worth the brief loss of breath: the stormtroopers guarding Sabine, along with his own guards and the Imperials from the cockpit, are thrown out of the small ship, and the girl takes the chance to slip towards the front of the gunship—and the duel.

He watches as she goes, hesitating as the Inquisitor and Kanan continue to exchange blows before sucking in a breath and ducking through, yelping as one of the Inquisitor’s lunges grazes a part of her arm that isn’t covered by armor.  He sucks in a breath, adrenaline thrumming through his veins.

* * *

“A protege of Masters Billaba and Windu, I see,” the man observes, thrusting his blade again toward Kanan.  The latter grunts, managing to block it in time and panting as he grimaces.

“And you’re an Imp.”  He breaks off the block, gasping as he moves backward and studies the Inquisitor.  They’ve only been fighting for several minutes now, but already it feels like hours, and Kanan’s realizing just how out of practice he is—training Ezra counts more as practice for the kid than for himself.  He’s not sure how much longer he can keep this up. “You guys are all the same to me.”

The man chuckles, lunging at his leg.  Kanan deftly sidesteps and follows up with an attack at his opponent’s arm.  Unfortunately, the man catches it, using Kanan’s own momentum to send him across the cockpit until he slams into the wall.

He turns in time to duck, dodging the searing scarlet shaft as it hisses and sputters against the wall where his head had been moments ago.

“I assume you are aware of their capture?”  Kanan casts a glance at Sabine, standing at the console and typing commands into it as fast as she can with her hands restrained.

“Who, Depa?” he asks in reply, ducking another blow and raising his lightsaber to deflect a third.

“And Windu.  I’m certain you’ll be happy to know that they were executed immediately after it was realized that they had no sensitive information.”  There’s a lie in what the man’s saying, Kanan _knows—_ can see it in the way his brow ridges draw together, the way his eyes narrow faintly.  You don’t get far in his line of work without recognizing the signs of deceit across all species.

“How old were you when the Order fell, then, hmm?”  Their blades lock once more.

“Old _enough._ ”  He grits his teeth and _shoves_ his blade against the Imperial’s, ducking the wide swing following it.

“Twenty-four years ago now.  And _still,_ we continue to find Jedi like you.”  He chuckles, raising a hand and throwing Kanan against the far wall of the cockpit with the Force.  The latter drops his lightsaber, blade sheathing as it rolls off. His voice lowers as he approaches, Kanan flinching away.  “And they wonder why the Inquisitorius is still _necessary._ ”

“Well bad luck for you, then.  I’m not a Jedi. Never made it that far.”  Kanan gives a lopsided grin, moving his hand just enough to press his comm.  “ _Now,_ Chop!”

His grin only widens as the ship is suddenly jostled.  The newly-named Inquisitor loses his balance for a rare moment, releasing his hold on Kanan.  Sabine cries out as she stumbles, catching herself on the back of the pilot’s chair.

And then he hears Ezra’s yelp, followed swiftly by a pained cry of alarm.

“Sabine!” he yells, turning and bolting to the back of the gunship.  He stops, grabbing his lightsaber and nudging Sabine ahead of him before rushing to the source of Ezra’s cries.  The sight he finds sickens him.

The kid’s clutching the very edge of the gunship, dangling over the plains hundreds of klicks below.

Normally, he knows, Ezra would steer clear of the edge.

Except his _brilliant_ plan of having Chopper ram the ship seems to have knocked Ezra almost all the way off.

He lunges forward as a panicked cry of “ _Kanan!_ ” escapes the boy’s lips, grabbing his wrist behind the binders just as he loses his grip.  Grunting, Kanan pulls him back up onto the ship, sitting up as he exhales sharply.

“Chop, now would be a _great_ time for a pickup!” he yells into his comm before tossing it to Sabine, wincing when he realizes that her hands are still in binders.  He’ll have to fix that later.

The Inquisitor’s approaching.  He knows it the same way he instinctively knows that Chopper won’t be coming.

He kneels and pulls Ezra into his lap anyway, feeling for the boy’s cuffs and pulling a pick out of his boot.  The gunship’s already on a collision course for the surface of Lothal, now that Sabine’s no longer piloting. If they’re going down, he’d rather it be like this, taking an Inquisitor—whatever _that_ means, though from the man’s comments Kanan’s guessing it’s some sort of a Jedi hunter—with them.  But Ezra’ll be uncuffed first. No one should have to die like that.

He finishes with the boy’s binders just as the Inquisitor reaches them, Sabine ducking from his blow with a yelp.  He throws out a hand, shoving her with the Force.

Shoving her off of the ship.

“ _Sabine!_ ” Kanan cries, standing abruptly and barely managing to remember to help Ezra up as he does so.  The boy flinches, leaning heavily against Kanan's side.

He hears the whine of TIE fighters outside and forces himself to meet the Inquisitor’s gaze.

“They can’t save you.  No one can,” he says in a firm voice, trying to disguise how heavily he’s breathing.  The Inquisitor merely raises a brow ridge in response, along with his lightsaber.

“Oh, I very much doubt that.”  His eyes flicker to Ezra, who huddles further against Kanan’s side.  “Ready to die, boy?”

There’s the sharp _ping_ of a charge, followed by a blast that rocks the gunship.  The trio find their gazes drawn outside.

Something’s shooting at the TIEs.  No, some _one._

“Kanan!”  He stumbles to the edge of the ship, mouth agape as he sees _Zeb,_ of all people, next to a shaken but otherwise physically okay Sabine on top of the _Ghost._  The freighter is hovering beneath their ship, exchanging fire with the TIEs around them.

“Just jump!”

He hesitates.

The Inquisitor makes the choice for him.

Kanan cries out as he falls, Ezra’s terrorized scream of “ _Kanan!_ ” following him all the way down.  He manages to collect himself enough to land in a crouch that quickly falls apart, dropping him onto the roof of the _Ghost_ in a heap.  Breathing hard, he accepts Zeb’s offered hand and glances up to see the Inquisitor holding Ezra back, fingers digging into the boy’s shoulders.

He fumbles for his comm before realizing Sabine has it.  She hands it to him wordlessly, and he turns it to the _Ghost_ ’s channel.

“Hera, if you’re piloting, I need to— _we_ need to—get back up so we’re even.  The Inquisitor’s got Ezra, and—“

“ _Excuse me for interrupting, but I may have a swifter alternative._ ”  He doesn’t recognize the voice that cuts in, only gaping as a shot from the aft gun hits the floor of the ship directly next to the Inquisitor’s feet—forcing him to release his hold on Ezra.

The boy falls, and Zeb moves forward to catch him, grunting as he lowers him to the roof of the ship.  The boy swallows, shaking as he stumbles toward Kanan with Zeb’s help.

“ _Everybody inside, we’re leaving atmo and jumping to hyperspace,_ ” Hera finally barks over the comm.  Kanan smiles uncertainly.

“Copy that, Spectre H.”

The group goes back inside, Kanan and Zeb both helping Ezra down the ladder and into the common room.  He steadies Ezra as the ship leaves realspace, and turns to the footsteps of someone _else_ coming down the ladder just as Hera and Chopper enter from the cockpit.

She’s a Togruta, around Kanan’s height.  Her eyes land on Sabine and she nods in respect before they shift to Kanan.

“Who are you?” he asks suspiciously, subconsciously moving slightly in front of Ezra.

“Ahsoka Tano,” she answers.  It’s the same voice from the comm.  “You may know me as Fulcrum.”

“You were on the aft gun?” he confirms.  She nods.

“Chopper came and got Hera, who got me.  He thought you three might have gotten into some trouble.”  She offers a faint smirk in the droid’s direction, who trills triumphantly.

“And it looks like our timing was perfect,” Hera adds, stepping forward and placing a hand on Kanan’s shoulder.

“But you said– you said ‘Fulcrum.’  As in the rebel—?”

Ahsoka nods.  “Yes. I run an intelligence network, with the help of others.  Among them Hera and Sabine.”

He nods, still uncertain.

Beside him, Ezra shifts his weight, and he glances down in time to see the kid burying his head into Kanan’s chest, now sobbing openly.  The events of the past few days catch up with him all at once.

They aren’t all right, and they have no obligation to be.  But Ezra is here, and he’s safe, and so is Hera and Chopper and Zeb and even Fulcrum and Sabine, as much as he distrusts them.  They’re all here. All alive. And he realizes something about this ship, about _them._  Something that Depa, Mace, and the endless years of traveling with them hadn’t been, something that Ryloth and his years growing up with Hera hadn’t been.

He’s home.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**{  fin  }**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this is it. Thank you so much for coming with me on this journey guys.
> 
> And this isn’t the end. Check back in on this series on Saturday, and you’ll get a surprise.
> 
> I hope this has been everything you guys have wanted and more. Thank you so much for the support, the comments, the kudos, the bookmarks, everything. I love you all. And may the Force be with you, always.


End file.
